LiN MarLeNe

2006-05-10T20:06:00.000+08:00

goodbye blogger.hello multiply.

anyone who wants my link,come to me personally.

to all who have been faitfully reading,thank u for ur support.

2006-05-04T23:34:00.000+08:00

today,it feels awkward to be driving a manual car after so long.maybe partly because i am used to an auto car too.o well...at least i still remember how to handle a manual.hehee..

so it was MC today.am down with bad flu.but instead of resting at home,i went out la.wad else?how can i ever sit still at home.moreover how can i not resist meeting up with ahmad darling.hehhzz...

we caught MI3 at Cathay.pretty impressive i mus say.loads of action n need i say that i lurrve such movies?after movies,walked around to get my anklet,n at the same time we're currently aiming on something dat i can deem as valuable.rite dear?hehzz...anywayy..back to where i was.we had dinner at lucky plaza n soon after we headed home.short time spent but as i always say it's the quality time dat matters.n thank u dear for spending on me.i am indeed a happy happy girl today :D

on a slighty sad note,my precious camera was sent for servicing.which means NO CAM WHORING!!!but waiittt...there's always the camera phone.smart thinking. ;P

owrite.this post gotta end before i type in unnecessary details.till the next entry!

2006-05-02T21:51:00.001+08:00

the month had already turned May.gawdd..time flies really fast.just when i tot the year has started,n now it's already in the 5th month?!o well..

the past weekend has been fantastic.it was shopping spree with the loved ones at Batam!me,nad,ahmad,zul n my colleague maisy.we went berzerk there.pegi sana mcm feeling2 OKB.paham2 jekla baru dapat gaji plus progress package.hahaa...

n seriously,i shopped till i dropped!when there's no cash,there's always the reliable card to swipe on.sheesshh...bad bad habit.but anywayss i was damn satisfied with my purchases for the day.n to tink we got ourselves matching pair of Levis jeans at a very good price.before u ppl start thinking it's not original,sorry horr..i'm not dat cheapskate.haahaa...

yesterday,i had to work though it was labour day.n the best thing was i had company to go work with.thank u darling for sending me.though it was only a short period of time,it was the quality time spent that mattered most.<3

oh btw have i mentioned dat my bro is away in taiwan now?for his NS thing la..it'll be 3 freaking wks.sad cos i'm gonna miss his antics but happy cos i've got his stuffs with me.which means i'm free to use them.ahahaha...

ok i've gotta run.updates when i'm free :)

2006-04-26T03:12:00.000+08:00

Barely a week after the trip,the 5 of us met up again.make it 2 days in a row!monday n tuesday.we just missed each other too much.i muz say that trip we had really bonded us well.n of course urs truly here was not working cos she was down with bad infection of rashes.

Monday was a dosage of town n followed by sheesha at El Sheikh.The ambience there is nice.i loike!n the food there was to die for as well.especially the pudding.yums~!As for Tuesday,it was Marina & Suntec.The new Marina Square is really a dangerous place to step in.i swear it'd burn my pockets dry.Anyway me & bestie is planning to get a gadget together.Hopefully it'd come true.hehee...rite naddy?

Since it's already the 26th of April,I'd like to give a big birthday shoutout to Hairi!

Hey you handsome~!Happy 23rd Birthday!May you succeed in ur future endeavours =D

n yes,thank u for the outing we had with nad n hakim on sunday.it was a nice catching up session.definitely we girls had a great time with u boys,long distance walking n cam whoring.hehee...

now on a more random note,i just wanna say i miss you .i hope u liked the chocolate i gave earlier.n faster get a line fixed.i feel "naked" not msg-ing u.like as if something is missing.faster ok.heee... =)

2006-04-25T11:42:00.000+08:00

just something to share...

he sent me these via msn yesterday.do u tink u can figure it out?
thank u dearie.ur just irresistably sweet.it made my day =)

2006-04-22T13:03:00.000+08:00

I'M BACK~!n i'm feeling better den eva.the trip has been a successful one n we even managed an extension of another day.1 wk being with all was definitely the time dat can never be traded for with anything else.it's so priceless that i'm sure each n everyone of us will treasure till the end of time. :)

so many first-times happened during this trip.i dun even know where to start.too many things to be blogged down.it's all in our thots =)

KL was madness.with the shopping n the crazy,fun times we had as a group.

playing in the rain
partying
thrill rides
movies at their GV
Bukit Bintang
KLCC
Petaling Street
Hotel Agora
Puduraya Hotel
LRT rides

Redang was beautiful.I shall never forget the times i had there.A place with much serenity n tranquility that holds many memories for me.

soaking wet ride from mainland Trengganu to Redang
snorkelling sessions
marine park
beautiful corals
2 penyus
swimming with school of fishes
near-drowning incident
karaoke
table tennis
congkak
Russell Peters
Abg Satay
bunk in session
19 April 2006
keropok n kain shopping at mainland Terengganu

n guess wad?all of us fell sick.it's either fever,flu or cough.maklumla kata sehati sejiwa kan.khekhekhee...but despite dat,we definitely had a wonderful time together.

the 1 wk passed by us so fast dat we never realised it was time to pack n head home.all of us were so hesitant to go back home n it was definitely a sad moment to part from diana.but i guess all good things must come to an end.

Memories of KL & Redang will surely hold a special place in my heart.To my friends,thank u for making this happen despite the cock up we had at the beginning of the trip.

Diana: terubat juga rindu nak jumpa.i'm beginning to miss u liao.come down singapore quick ok.then we can paint SG red pulak.hhee..take good care of urself there ok babe.

Nad: you have been the best fren that never fails to support me n my decisions.this trip brought us closer further den ever.no words can describe how much i treasure u.

Rozei: being new to the group,i hope u had fun with all.i'm sure u did not have a hard time mixing with us.maybe next time if we have another trip,u'd wanna consider coming along?

Usop: i'm happy u enjoyed urself all along.to see the smile on ur face each time,brings joy to my heart.i hope this 1st time trip for u has been a good exposure.

Zul: ur presence added more life to the group.can't imagine not having u around.i hope that this was sufficient enuff to cover for the bangkok trip dat we initially planned,but cancelled.

Ahmad: u are the reason y this trip has been the most unforgettable one for me.thank u for all the times u stood by n taking care of me.n dat particular incident,was the sweetest thing eva.for dat i love u loads.

Quality time has been spent,much fun has been felt.n now it's back to the bz life in SG.

14 April 2006-21 April 2006...forever in my mind. =)

2006-04-14T13:21:00.000+08:00

the most anticipated day has finally arrived.tonight we'll be leaving the country n will only be back on wednesday evening.

looking forward to much more quality time with all.
looking forward to catch up with my dear babe,ms lydiana.
looking forward to boogie boogie.n yesha~!u finally relented in coming along.for dat i heart u alot :)
looking forward to a crazay shopping spree.
looking forward to the snorkelling sessions.
n most importantly looking forward to all the cam whorings.HOHO!!

so u ppl,stay tuned for pics when i'm back on mainland yeah.

i'm so gonna make u ppl JEALOUS!!nyeh nyeh....

"this love i have for you has created a stronger chemistry n affection between us.i miss you". =)

2006-04-11T00:17:00.000+08:00

did u just hear a chinese song on the background?ahahaa..yeps my background music IS a chinese song.i heard this song during one of da karaoke sessions n i saw the music video as well.it nearly made me cry sia!really it's a damn touching song.i got a translation to the song.i'll type it out below.enjoy!

Forgotten how long it is
I have not listen
to you read the story that i loved
I have thought for a long time
I am beginning to fluster
Is it that i did something wrong again?
You are crying while telling me
that fairytale is a lie.
I am impossible to be your prince
Maybe you don't understand
From the time you love me
The stars in my night sky were lighted

I wish to become
tbe fairytale's angel that you love
As i spread my arms it becomes wings to protect you
You must believe
Believe that our story would be like a fairytale
Joyful and a happy ending

You are crying while telling me
that fairytale is a lie.
I am impossible to be your prince
Maybe you don't understand
From the time you love me
The stars in my night sky were lighted

I wish to become
tbe fairytale's angel that you love
As i spread my arms it becomes wings to protect you
You must believe
Believe that our story would be like a fairytale
Joyful and a happy ending

I wish to become
tbe fairytale's angel that you love
As i spread my arms it becomes wings to protect you
You must believe
Believe that our story would be like a fairytale
Joyful and a happy ending

I wish to become
tbe fairytale's angel that you love
As i spread my arms it becomes wings to protect you
You must believe
Believe that our story would be like a fairytale
Joyful and a happy ending

Let's write our ending together

aww...isn't is just sweet =)

2006-04-07T23:02:00.000+08:00

time is 11pm.n i'm off for karaoke with the team.Whheee~!!

n tomorrow it's the team's bbq.team bonding session bebeh.double joy!!

looking forward to meet u tomorrow coz i miss u bebeh =)

2006-04-03T23:26:00.000+08:00

it had been a wonderful weekend i muz say despite the fact dat i had a teeny weeny bickering with the parents.

Saturday:
date out with tatia nurfarina to fish & co T2.we had a great time catching up on things n yeah we have a dirty little secret for the day.rite darling?shuusshh!!hehe...but it was nice.i loike!! ;) after dat we headed to TP to catch PENTAS.mr ahmad n my bro came along with us as well.

frankly speaking,i was dissapointed with the show.as an ex MAG member n exco,i felt dat the standard of the show has totally dropped.n the dk girls especially were very much unprepared.where have the standard dat we as ur seniors have set gone to?o well..i forgot dat they are too good to actually be guided by an experienced one.wadeva!setting aside dat,i was so happy to have met up with many friends there.all my poly mates dat i have so called lost touch.feels great to be hugging n conversing with them.:)

after PENTAS,me n mr ahmad wanted to spend quality time together.rite dear?hahaha...dgr2 hari tu kita sehati sejiwa pakai blue kan.awww... =P anyway we were like gonna catch a 2am show la.tapi hasrat tak tercapai,due to unforeseen circumstances.abeh tu dua2 mangkok.Failure to launch was indeed a failure for us.sigghhzz...but it's ok.at least the nite ended well with him listening to my crap n all.

Sunday:
earlier part of the day was mendak la.so let's not indulge into the details shall we.but in the evening,it was family bonding at Siam Kitchen.Dad actually wanted to sit at Starbucks la..but tak jadi cos it was blardy packed.so we settled for Siam Kitchen since me n bro were starving.i definitely appreciate such moments with the family.it shows the unity among us.n for dat i love my family,no matter wad shit crops up.<3

bro had to book in by 8pm,,so we all separated by then.bro back to SISPEC,parents back home n me *ahem* back to ahmad.chey chey cheyy...mcm paham!dgr2 ahmad met up with my parents.hahahaa...so u,how does it feel to meet ibu & ayah?kehkhekehe...anyhoots it was an ice cream session for us again.dis time it's ben & jerry's ice cream by the suntec fountain.n wad else do we do but cam whore?hahahaa...oh n how can i not forget..we played UNO!

i was kinda upset laa dat da rest couldn't make it to meet up.ada yg tido la,ada yg gi jb la,ada yg bz la...ada sajeek tau!tapi takpe u all are forgiven.pls eh ppl nxt wk kita kena jumpa eh.by hook or by crook!cuberrr eh make time.terima kasih.

the trip is in 11 days time.omg dat is so fast la...n i'm all geared up.i'm pretty sure the rest are too.KL n Redang here we cooomeee!!!!n the most important thing is,I AM GOING TO MEET UP MY DARLING,LYDIANA!!!!!i soooo can't wait.finally all of us will be reunited again.me,diana,nad,izzati,ahmad,usop,zul.yeayness!n i'm sure it's gonna be more fun dat rozei is coming along.wooohoo!!!

ok i blogged too much.hahaa...too happy perhaps.

n u...i dedicate the song to u yah :D

2006-03-30T21:50:00.000+08:00

last nite he sang me a verse from Finch's song,

"I want you to know that
I miss you, I miss you so
I want you to know that
I miss you, I miss you so"

n dedicated the whole song to me.pure sweetness.it made my day =)

oh btw sorry la eh ur action nak merajuk tak menjadi.it doesn't work on me.kehkeheke...

met up with bestie before going to work.i so missed her laa...n it felt good to see her even for a while.today i splurged almost 200 bucks on a pair of Levis.warrgghh!!i am gonna be broke even before the end of the month.i tink i have enuff spending for now.need to curb!!

can't wait for Saturday.i have a date with Tatia Nurfarina,whom i deeply missed,in the earlier part of da day.n later in da evening prolly heading to TP for PENTAS.yeayness!!

counting down to our trip..15 more days.

2006-03-29T22:01:00.000+08:00

me am feeling so euphoric~!

Why?Because i got myself a new toy...

TADAA...it's a Motorola Razor V3i =)

initially was contemplating with a V3x.but heck it,i dun need 3G.so i settled for a simpler version,equipped with MP3 player.very much contented.

ahmad is done with his exams.i'm feeling happy for him.no more late nite revisions and study stress.now we can look forward to our trip.yeayness!!

2006-03-28T10:37:00.000+08:00

The night of 26th March will never be off my mind.

A tub of Haagen Daz Midnight Cookies ice cream,
A bottle of mineral water,
Esplanade roof terrace,
Nice view of the sky n the stars,
Personal sharing which brought tears n laughters.

The rest are all in my tots...

Thank you for making it a meaningful one.

2006-03-27T18:42:00.000+08:00

it's funny how matters of the heart could simply bring u to tears.when 2 souls feel that they're etched together,it just feels hard to let go,especially knowing that they have to go thru a lot obstacles.

the question that keeps burning.."how long r we gonna be like this?"

truthfully it hurts like hell.but how can i let dis hurt affect me?day after day,i keep lying to myself n to u.i always try to make it look like as if i can make it thru...i can accept this reality.i had to do this.Y?i never wanted you to lose ur focus.thru all dis strong facade,lies a fragile heart that bleeds n cries every single time.shame on me for lying.shame on me for wanting to be with you.

it's just complicated isn't it....

2006-03-25T11:53:00.001+08:00

da week just turned to be a betta one :)

after all the whining,grumpiness,crankiness,
after all the negative tots,
after all the low self esteem n confidence,

the RELC letter came n boosted my wk.

I PASSED MY TEST!!!!!

yes yes the one dat i felt was blardy difficult.

with dat,i shall proceed on with my application.happy happy happy.

n to share the great news with the loved ones felt even happier.but i felt happiest to be surrounded by them yesterday.all 6 of us met up n chilled.me,nad n the guys lepaked till like 4am?hahahaa...but it was great!

to add on more to my happiness,lemme tell u guys something.

I HAVE A DATE TODAY :D

with who u might ask?i'll consider about telling it in the next entry.for now i need to get ready n change.V for Vendetta,1.50pm. ;)

2006-03-22T12:59:00.000+08:00

thank you loves for everything <3

because of them i was able to have a peaceful sleep last nite.
at least i'm being loved =)

n for now,let's just take it like as if it's not meant to be.n we'll be cool :)

2006-03-21T03:41:00.000+08:00

it's already a tuesday morning n i believe today will be a betta day for me.somehow i feel a bit lighter after writing the heartfelt entry before this.

at least for now i know i'm not in denial anymore.

i thought hard.
i cried harder.
i took the situation hardest.

but dat only lasted for a while.

sad but true,reality is harsh.n it's harsh-er to accept it.now i'm back on track n ready to face the new day.

U..

it's kinda strange dat dis is still hanging on a string.truth to be told,i felt affected in many ways.but i take all dat in stride.dun worry i'm ok.

n naddy...thanx for being there for me in times of need.though u weren't physically my shoulder to cry on,to be my listening ear was already good enuff.thank u bestie.I luv ya =)

it's a brand new day....

2006-03-20T20:10:00.000+08:00

Umpama air pasang surut
Telah ku duga begitu miripnya kehidupanku ini
Fikiran bergocak
Naluri kebingungan

Soal hati mencengkam jiwa
Aku resah melalui segalanya
Apakah aku bisa menangunggnya?
Atau aku akan tewas dalam tanganku sendiri

Tanpa kusedari,aku menangis dalam tawa
Tidak pernah ku sangka kehadiranmu
Dapat memberi satu nafas baru
Dan keyakinan dalam diriku

Aku peka akan perbezaan antara kita
Tapi ianya tidak pernah menjadi alasan
Malahan aku telah menerimamu seadanya
Cukupkah ia untuk terus menyintaimu?

Adakah ini satu persinggahan masa
Ataukah ia akan berterusan
Aku tidak rela dibelenggu kekalutan
Tapi yang nyata,perasaan ini tak akan berubah

Duhai pujaan hatiku,
Sudah kau tahu isi hati ini
Tapi usah kau gusar wahai sayang,
Walau apa pun yang terjadi,aku akan tetap teguh disisimu.

2006-03-19T07:19:00.000+08:00

good sunday morning~!

i am wide awake as of now.all dressed up n waiting to leave home n head for 4PM.SSP is having an excursion today n i'm so hyped.it's a miracle dat i am so fresh now despite of NO sleep last nite.yeah yeah.all because of a stupid monkey at home.let's not talk abt it shall we.

hopefully i can make it throughout da day.

currently i'm waiting for darling to meet up with me so dat we can go 4PM together.he was invited to become a facilitator as well.n i wonder where is he now...waiting n waiting for his call to make my way down.betta be fast dear,before i start to fall asleep... =)

to my dear lydiana,dgr2 org kl skarang dah panggil u sarah.hahaha...hmmm...tak biasa panggil diana kot? =P

n dun fret ok.our plans are still gonna be up n running.i'm so glad usop got the green light.yeayness!more ppl means more fun.

owrite i gotta end da post now.he just called =)

2006-03-17T22:03:00.000+08:00

i am feeling a bit under the weather today.slight depression set in as i stared at the pc right here in the office.it has not been a good week i muz say.escalations by escalations hit me every single day.

i kinda lost the drive to continue working here.it seems that the longer i stay here,the more workload n responsibilities i have to bear.sighzz...

I MISS SCHOOL!!! =(

NTU!!!pls call me up for admission.if not at least puhleassee inform me whether i'm accepted to ur campus.i promise i'll study real hard n make my stay there worthy.oh well even if i'm not accepted,i can start looking for a new job!

n if dat happens,i might just consider the Licensed Aircraft Engineer position,rite Fir?me..an engineer?hmmm...no harm giving it a try right?

oh well..i need to head back to my pile of burdens now.but it's ok i only have abt an hr more to tahan n after dat i'll be meeting my sayangs =)

2006-03-14T23:58:00.000+08:00

it was a lovely day i muz say.i'm now the most happiest girl eva.

specialist called this afternoon to pass me a piece of gewd news.
I'VE ALREADY BEEN CERTIFIED TO BE IN THE PINK OF HEALTH!!

after months of waiting.finally the wait did not come to a waste.alhamdulillah syukur pada ALLAH.i am not suffering from any major health condition.if u ppl wanna know wad it's all abt,ask me personally.y?cos not even my parents know bout it.

n so the 1st person to know bout the piece of gewd news was none other than....

my mengarut-ism partner,my honey baby.kehekheheke..

n him being the sweet one today,came all the way from ite dover to tampines to accompany me during my dinner break.n of coz bestie came along as well.n for dat i love them both muchies..

they simply make my day a meaningful one.

on a slightly sadder note,bangkok trip has been cancelled due to the unrest at thailand.the parentals were getting quite worried plus me n bestie were not too keen abt it anymore.we trust our gut feelings.BUT!!!!something is coming along the way to replace that bkk trip.wanna know wad issit?stay tuned...khekehee.

i'm loving the way my life is right now.really contented.thank god for the loved ones.

babes n dudes...i lurve u guys to bits.thank u for being the colourful rainbows in me.this is definitely one friendship i'd keep for life,insyallah. =)

2006-03-12T00:17:00.000+08:00

n so here i am at McCafe West Coast now with fir and ahmad.surfing wirelessly without any disturbance from them.Y?Cos both of them are busy studying.hahahaa...i feel so pampered here.best gitu.being the only girl n doing NOTHING!!!encik ahmad tgh duduk sebelah sayer ni kalau awak2 sumer nak tau...dia sdg sibuk menelaah pelajarannye.hahahaha....jgn marah ahmad.nanti kena jual :p

i've had a great weekend so far.been on off mode since thursday!hahaa...long long weekend.later will be having SSP n maybe some plans with the gang.hehee..

oklah my brains quite cramped on wad to blog on.maybe u ppl could just check out my online photo album.updated photos there.:)

till then,enjoy ur sunday!!

2006-03-08T03:50:00.000+08:00

i am finally home after a long day at work.yes yes it was UNPAID overtime again...sighhzz...so much work to be done.i am so overloaded.

armed with a bar of snickers ice cream n in the comfort of my bed n lappie,here i am blogging away before i make my way to dreamland.somehow i missed blogging the past days.

actually i have nothing much to update la..still excited about bangkok trip.kehkehehe...n guess wad?i have discounted rates for my flight.woohoo!!$100 bucks saved could be used for my shopping trip there.yeshaaa..so far 5 ppl have been confirmed for this trip.i'm still waiting for some others to confirm.u know who u are.kehekhkehee...jgn lambat2 tau...sayer dah nak booking flight minggu depan :)

it's 4am already.damn!how time flies.n it took me only 10mins to type out this entry.i tink i betta sleep now since i just can't stop yawning.oh btw monis,if ur reading this,sorry my msn shut on me!besok leh sambung crita pat keje ok.kehkehkeee..before i end,lemme just post a photo which i tink will DEFINITELY make mouths itch to gossip.kehkehehe...

n do u tink the gossip will be HOTTER if i say dat i love him n dat he's important to me?

u decide...*winkz*

2006-03-02T19:40:00.000+08:00

it's break time n i'm feeling so tired.dinner made me full n now i'm craving for my B&J ice cream.dat shall wait till i get home.phish food...yummss!!

my eyes can barely open u know.OT-ed till like 4am last nite n only got to sleep at 5am.i'm in dire need of beauty sleep =(

bet i'm gonna have a bz week ahead.starting to plan for my bangkok trip with the gang.n since me n ahmad are the mastermind,we have to crack our brains to plan the route n all.it's always good to plan in advance,so not many things will go wrong.oh well i just can't wait for this trip. :)

i haf loadsa stuffs to clear here,but i'm soooo sleeeepppyy.*yawnz*

i'll blog again soon.

2006-03-01T03:43:00.000+08:00

that summarizes my fantastic weekend.pictures speak betta den words rite?so judge for urself how much fun i had.hehee... =)

lynn over n out.

2006-02-24T00:33:00.000+08:00

wadeva u did today was totally childish.wad were u trying to prove?c'mon,u definitely know who ur.well i'm sorry to tell you that i'm not as dumb as u think i am.i have my ways.to think u sent it to me alone,n not to the rest on ur list?admit it!ur just a coward u idiot!

yes i am affected.now dun get me wrong.it's not because of wad i see.i dun even give a damn!i have nothing against her.she did no wrong.it's u!u are my target because of the many unexplained things.i am affected because u provoked me.u knew my weakness.u used that on me.waddahell!!!DUN U HAVE ANYTHING BETTA TO DO!!!!!!!!!GROW UP FUCKER!

maybe wad the girls said were rite.u are behaving this way because i still affect u in a lot of ways.n to think u wanna prove to me u've moved on.hear this.GET A LIFE!!!

n pls,wadeva it is.TREAT HER RIGHT!i went thru wad i NEVER deserved.n of coz i dun wanna c someone of my own gender to feel the same.she's innocent.no matter how bitchy i can get,i am still a human who takes into consideration of wad others feel.

i'm getting sick n tired already when it comes to u.coz i know i still can never get wad i want from u.y?because u have a damn BIG EGO!

so MR,set ur maturity level n think like an adult.Rash actions will always backfire on u.

2006-02-21T23:55:00.000+08:00

remember i was blogging in da previous entry on my lack of materials to study for the test.suddenly last nite,i was swarmed with 30 odd pages of notes.all thanx to my dear zakiah.this in turn lead me to only 2 hours of sleep for the nite. :O

test was really bad la.be it oral or written.never did i expect it to be dat difficult.morale was really down for the day,but as always i have my ahmad darling to cheer me up.n of coz not forgetting naddy who met up with us for a while at PS in the afternoon.

it didn't help much dat i was so sleepy.and also i realised that my otak karat already to study.haahahaa...how to take degree like this?

talking bout degree...finally my application for NTU has been processed.n thank u kak saadah for doing the appraisal for me online.it really means a lot to me.now i just need to keep my fingers crossed.

NTU or NTU/NIE?

we'll just wait for the outcome.if i never get admission for both,i'll just continue working lorr..as simple as that.

pray for me people.pray....pls?

ooops syafiq just msg-ed me.gonna buzz him now coz i wealllyyy miss him so muchie...

2006-02-20T19:25:00.000+08:00

to be out with you yesterday was one of the greatest moments i anticipated.it has been a while since we last enjoyed each other's company rite?it didn't occur to me that walking aimlessly from esplanade to suntec to marina and back to esplanade could have been so meaningful.it's like spending quality time together. :)

earlier in the day it was like a so called double date.tya darling,finally u have met him in person.khehekhee...hopefully u enjoyed the dinner as much as i did yeah.

anyway back to where i was.the talks we had were like so good la.i felt this tinge of satisfaction after conversing with u coz i know i can be open n direct.discussing about issues that definitely were worth debating n speculating bout how we see things in the long run.

kengkawan kita yg lain,jgn jeles kita 2 berdating tanpa kamu2 sumer.hehehe...

let's just side track before the entry gets too personal.haa..

i'm having my entry test tomorrow.n da best thing i have not done a single revision!!!it's hard when u dun have the reading materials.i'm solely depending on my brain power n wadever knowledge i still have.hopefully the test is gonna be manageable.

9am,RELC.
2pm,RELC.

yes ppl it's 2 tests in a day.pray hard for me.

oh btw,this is lame but i just feel like commenting.some ppl just dun possess the confidence to look good and nice on TV.HAHAAHHAAHAHAHAAAA......

ok dat's it.i betta stop.*LOL*

2006-02-18T17:17:00.000+08:00

hey hey...i'm back!very much alive and kicking i muz say.couldn't stand the tot of being on hiatus for too long n also i just can't live without my friends :D

n in dat week of hiatus i've had so much fun i muz say.Close friends play a major major role in bringing up my morale,n for that i have to thank them.

ahmad,diana,izzati,nadiah,usop n zul.u guys rawk my world.hehehee...

Endless Phone Calls
Simpang Bedok
Picnic at East Coast Park
M.O.S
Spent time lepaking at East Coast Park once again in da wee hours
Cam Whoring
Drove a Nissan Sunny n managed to reach Bedok Reservoir,Sembawang and Bukit Batok.An accomplishment for me i mus say.Rite guys?hehee....u know i know y.

n something i need to add in here.my dear ahmad sayang,thank you for understanding n "closing one eye" about last nite.ehehe...it means a lot ok coz i know somehow u dun like it la kan.though i know there's nothing much u can do about it.n oh thank u for being my pillow.nyenyak sayer tido.kehekhkee...

My obsession has left for KL to study.Last night we had our last hugs n kisses.I'm gonna miss her bad.really.no more "khaki" to do wad we normally do.but thank god we managed to spend time together yesterday.Smoove to House to Retro.We definitely had loads of fun with much memories to keep.Diana darling,we'll visit u in KL when we have the means ok.N let's look forward to our April trip!for now,i'll be missing you muchie muchie babe.

n right at this moment,i need to siap2 to meet tatia.sheesha time~!cannot hold back anymore or else i'll be freaking late!will blog again soon.

2006-02-08T02:14:00.000+08:00

it's been a while since i last blogged.i am so bogged down with work that i have been practically neglecting everything.n my health is deteriorating with every passing day.a week has gone n here i am still sick,can't find the right cure.n the worse part of being sick is ur deprived of so many things.n i hate that.

i've been doing too much thinking lately n plus the fact that i'm unwell n still working n all,i tink it has lead me to depression.i dunno y suddenly i just had to break down n for a moment i felt like a vegetable.brain dead.

right now i even feel like walking away from my frens.ignore them.
i need time alone.actually u know wad,i have been doing dat indirectly.

i know i know this is bad.but i presume it's just gonna be temporary?

i promise i'll be back in the blogging world when i'm back to the old chirpy self.till den,take care fellow readers n be good.

I OFFICIALLY DECLARE MYSELF ON HIATUS MODE.

2006-01-30T21:20:00.000+08:00

that call i had with u today cleared my doubts and worries.n i thank god i finally made the move.initially i was contemplating as to whether i shud or not.But i asked myself till how long shud i let this drag on?n furthermore i couldn't take it anymore.i knew they wanted me to make the decision by today.so i took the risk.if he get my intentions wrong n things get worse,then i guess it was meant to be dat way la rite.but alhamdulillah we got on well over the phone after quite some time n definitely most of my doubts were answered.he even personally did the invitation.

n with dat,guess wad people...........

I'M GOING TO BATAM WITH HIS FAMILY.

n i haf to personally thank azreen n hakim for giving me the "courage" to make the move.i know i couldn't do it coz i am "so tak biasa" making the first move.but these 2 kinda motivated me to do so n get over n done with it.n true i'm done!

on a slightly more happier note,i'd like to congratulate dayana on her engagement.dah jadi tunang org skarang.i will pray that u n muz will kekal ke anak cucu.and guess where i headed to after dat.

KARAOKE SESSION!!!

we had loads of fun.dat is for sure.even me with sore throat sang my hearts out.as a result it got worse today.n to add on to it,i had to work!but den who cares i was basically slacking at work since there was really no one around.imagine in that whole department,only me n azreen were working.hahahaa...

i dunno y but i'm feeling so elated :)
oh before i forget let's welcome my new blog reader,tatia nurfarina.
my dear,ur linked!

pics for viewing as follows.

the princess of the day
pinky me & nad with dayana
the poly mates
the "dulangs"
da crazy peeps
believe it or not,we were duet-ing a dangdut song~!
da complete us
mar,my primary school fren whom i'm still in contact with
azreen,colleague cum good fren

2006-01-26T02:15:00.000+08:00

it's funny how a friend's recent break up could bring you memories of the past.for a moment i felt affected,i dunno why.

there's this tingling feeling in me dat disturbs my emotions rite now.all these while i've never allowed myself to feel this way,but somehow today it just seemed different.n i'm not gonna let myself follow this flow of mixed emotions.i've always been a strong willed person when it comes to feelings n emotions n i will not let anyone or anything break me down again.NEVER!!!

n u know wad..in the first place,i dun even know why i'm typing dis down.

2006-01-22T23:19:00.000+08:00

have i told you lately how much i love you?i may have not shown you much,but trust me deep inside i have been loving you all these while.all my life.....

thank you for the scrumptious lunch over at secret recipe n coffee at Mcafe today.i had the most loveliest time with you.catching up,gossiping,bitching,laughing our hearts out n most importantly time alone with you.

my dear twin sista cum cuzzy cum life partner,you are an angel sent from heaven.this blood tie will never die btwn us.i promise.

22/01/06 had been a great day out.though we may have been busy with our own lives,i believe that deep inside us we will never fail to be there for each other.i'm happy for you now n i hope that happiness will last. =)

2006-01-19T04:26:00.000+08:00

i've been asked the same question umpteen of times by many people."lynn,y not just forgive n forget?"

it's not dat i'm unwilling to do so.but we've had many unresolved issues.we had a bad ending remember?

this time i'm sticking to wad i hold on to.

all i ask for is a personal and sincere apology cum explanation from u.it mite seem too much for u,but dat is all i want from u.

only then i shall willingly give in n forgive u for shattering my heart.

call me cruel but even till da day u leave this world n no apologies have been extended,i will still bear this grudge in me.

now i feel betta after letting it out.

n to my dear miss mariam,upon reading ur entry i just feel glad dat i could enlighten u with my personal experiences..i share ur pain but keep ur head up high ok darling.the days will get better as they go by.i promise u.i know u can do it.i have faith in u!!! =)

gawdd it's already 4.40am.i dun even know y i'm here.i need sleep!

2006-01-17T18:45:00.000+08:00

another colleague left the department today.i'm feeling sad of her departure but at the same time i'm happy as well.haaa..y??coz i'm back to being the youngest in my shift.kehekhekhee...*evil grin*

one by one,the colleagues are leaving.i wonder when will it be me?i love the people here,but the job sucks!the pay is worse.do u know dat as a procurement specialist in other companies,the pay is much higher than here in IBM?n when i tink of it,this line is not my forte.i'm here just to gain the experience and learn more about the working world.

somehow i've planned my immediate career path.i have tots of resigning from IBM if i get accepted to NIE.yes,Lynn wants to try teaching.hahahaaa...do u know dat being a teacher was my childhood ambition?ok make dat my second choice.my 1st choice was actually to be a lawyer.u know la i can talk a lot.kehkehee...but my parents discouraged me from pursuing that dream due to unforseen reasons.so i opted teaching as my nxt dream career.i started relief teaching n giving tuition during my poly years.i tried to use those experiences as a stepping stone for myself,but instead i lost the passion to teach.i dunno y...it just died.den when i began my career here in IBM n also my tuition sessions in SSP,i come to realise that teaching is something i do best.in SSP,i relived my passion for teaching n that motivated me to take up NIE.i'm praying for the best.i'm only willing to give it one shot.if i get accepted,alhamdulillah...that will be my path.if not,i will still go on and search for the right career for myself.NEVER SAY DIE!!! =P

on another note,i received an invitation to batam with his family,which will be in late February.it's something like their family gathering kinda thingy.i wudn't haf mind if it was like with ppl i know.but this is with his whole EXTENDED family.i'm kinda in a whirl as to whether i shud go.3 things playing in my mind:

(1)if he wanted me to come along,why didn't he personally ask me out?why did he need to get his aunt to ask me rite?

(2)why does his mum wants me to follow?it's not like as if i know her dat well la kan.

(3)it's their family gathering.y da hell shud i tag along?i'm not part of the family at all!!well apparently almost everyone "anggaps" me as one already.

so how?dilemma tau....it's been a long time i made my way to batam.i miss my indon friends.n at the same time i wanna go Nagoya n shop!!!bagaimana dong?gwe nggak bisa memutuskan-nya.gwe bingung skalik!

this is wad happens when u get close with the family when ur in a relationship.but in my case,this is the story of the EX!!!!howwwwwww???i'm suppose to like decide by this wk.somebody...anybody....pls help me...

sheeshh..i took almost 1hr of my break time to type this meaningless entry.i betta get back to my pile of cases which needs to be resolved.

2006-01-03T18:32:00.000+08:00

This mixture of emotions is really killing me.wad have i done?was it a wise decision of mine?questions after questions keep burning in my head.there's this guilt in me that just couldn't be washed away.i feel like shit.

Me n fadli aKa Mr Mazda 6.we're a closed chapter.to think bout it,we were never an open chapter in the first place?!?!?!!!

U surprised me this morning when u said u have landed in singapore,when u were actually supposed to reach tomorrow instead.den u wanted to meet up with me at the void deck before i went to work.at the void deck u surprised me once again with the supposedly birthday gift of mine.but of course i couldn't accept it.a gift worth $1K is not something i deserve.n i knew there was a message that lies behind that gift.

True enuff.wad i thot turned out to be the worst nightmare.u spilled ur innermost feelings towards me,n i knew u expected the same kinda reaction from me.but the chemistry u felt with me was something that i did not feel while being with u.

U blamed my past for making me wad i am now.u were disappointed i never wanted to give u the chance.fadli,u will never understand wad i went thru.it's hard for me to accept love at this point of time n remember i told u dat at the beginning of our friendship.so why did u still choose to pursue a relationship with me,when i have made it clearly known to u that i am not interested?

Love is something that i uphold on to tight n once i lose it,it's as similar as my world come tumbling down.Going thru it with that person i truly love most has changed me in an instant.I come to realise that the hopes and dreams we both used to share were not meant to be build together.It was sad that i saw so much potential in him as my significant other,yet things turned out not as planned.n because of all these,i never wanted to believe in love again at this moment of time.pls dun get me wrong.i am over the past.the wound has healed,but the scar is still prominent.

So fadli,i dun want to c u as being a part of me because i feel forced to.love cannot be forced n i hope u understand.at another standpoint,i still need my frens around me.u not being able to mix around with them is a major problem.i need them more then i need a life partner.n i believe ur also unable to give me that kinda freedom i used to have in my past relationships.freedom is something i need most.

I'm sorry to have broken your heart.But i've never promised anything to u.You chose to severe all contacts with me.I hope this will do us good.Do take care n i hope you will find a better girl in the future.I'm not worth ur love.From the bottom of my heart,thank you for the splendid dates that we used to have and the sacrifices u made for me.Those small things that u've done for me will never be forgotten.Thank you for shining that light of joy in me for the past months.I will miss you as a companion n a fren.

this is specially for u fadli.

"i wanna thank you for giving me the best days of my life.just to be with you is having the best days of my life"-thank you by dido-

2006-01-01T14:16:00.000+08:00

finally,the year has turned 2006.i must say that yr 2005 has indeed been a fast n challenging one for me.in that whole yr i got a new job,patched back in a relationship which alas had a bad ending,gained many friendships,enjoyed the nitelife,travelled out of country without my parents and how could i not forget,the best birthday celebration ever!

in yr 2005,i had a total of 3 celebrations just for my own birthday,which means i had 3 birthday cakes.wooohoooo..............

cake #1,courtesy of the colleagues

cake #2,courtesy of my beloved friends

cake #3,courtesy of Harem Beauty Spa

yeah yeah did u c SPA there?hehhzz...i held a spa party in conjunction with my birthday.yes...ur eyes are not fooling u.it was really fantastic,especially with the girls and the friendly staffs around.there was the massage,facial,herbal steam,creambath n etc etc...we all had 6 different treatments each.the massage was superb i tell u.i really needed it.n u know wad,i mite just make the trip to the spa like a routine.n oh since it was in conjuction with my birthday,the staffs actually surprised me with the cake.i tot the girls planned it,but i was so proven wrong.sweet kannn the staffs.n did i mention we had complimentary sheesha? ;)

the girls that made the spa party happen

the uber sweet staffs

birthday girl =)

sheesha virgin.kehekhekehe...

smoke weed~!

i like this pic of azreen :D

i'm the smoke machine.hehehee :P

after all the fun,we dressed up n started cam whoring again!

thank u Harem Spa...my birthday celebration was a success.so after all the spa treatments,off we headed to celebrate the new year.me n diana went to meet the 4PM peeps at east.dgr2 sebelum tu ada org tu ingatkan dia hilang hp.after so much panicking,she realised that the phone was actually in her bag!!!!tak nak cakap sape la kan.hekhekhekeee....

the peeps reached east coast at abt 11pm.n so we headed down to leisure bowl.dgr2 lepas massage takleh exercise la kan,so i gave bowling a pass.instead i carried on with wad i expertise in.CAM WHORING!!!hehehe...

n i tink i have not done a write up of my celebration with my beloved friends rite?gawdd this post is really gonna be lonnngggg....i'll try to summarise it up n post the pics instead.hw bout dat?

my friends made my birthday this yr the most wonderful experience.though there were so much sabo-ing,i truly enjoyed the surprises n gift that they gave me.ahmad,diana,izzati,naddy,usop n zul from the bottom of my heart thank you so much for making my 22nd birthday a fun and memorable one.This is definitely a moment i've waited for eversince my sucky 21st birthday.

n also for those who actually remembered my birthday.ppl like dee,zakiah,iskandar,wan,fadli,helmy,syafiq pendek and syafiq tinggi,ani,sham,ishdah,my bro,tatia,hairi,hakim,nana,fir and hairul.ur sms-es n calls touched me in many ways.once again,thank you for having me in ur tots. :)

ok pics as per below.

wallaaaa~!there u have them,those are only some of da pics.n this has been a very very long post.

for me,yr 2004 has been bitter and yr 2005 bittersweet.hopefully 2006 will be sweet n filled with much much happiness insyallah.

goodbye 2005, n now i embrace yr 2006 with open arms.

2005-12-29T12:49:00.000+08:00

a short post before i get ready to the office.yesterday,my colleagues had a mini pre celebration for my birthday.sweetness :) i was so touched by their gesture.mo words can describe how i feel.thank you all for making it happen.it was indeed a nice start to a 22nd birthday.

the babes

dats my new colleague cynthia,whose birthday falls in december too

my birthday cake

the gifts

look at my ecstatic expression~!

the colleagues who sit in the same cubicle as me

2005-12-26T12:52:00.000+08:00

it's a monday n i'm not working.yeayness~!since it is boxing day and the ppl in US and Netherlands are not working as well,boss declared Monday an official off day.

so it has been a long weekend n indeed a happy one :D

saturday,made my way to Safra Yishun as 4PM held a program there.before that i fetched asryna from TTSH and both of us made our way there.i sooo miss that girl ok!!at Safra,i saw so many new faces in the volunteering scene.i guess this program would be a good first step to bond them?maybe...anyway,while asryna n me bowled with the rest,diana,izzati,ahmad n zul were bz becoming monkeys at the rock climbing section.hahahaa...i only met up with them much later.asryna returned to 4PM with the rest while i stayed on at Safra.after the rest washed up,we made our way to BK Yishun,had our dinner there and straight headed to Marina.we only left Marina at about 11pm.

i actually had invites to MOS on Saturday.BUT i kindly declined them.call me stupid to turn them down.ya yaaa...i dun care. =P

yesterday i met up with my parents at parkway after their wedding reception.we were gonna get my advanced birthday gift.how exciting!i called naddy down as well since she wanted to get the same stuff n yeps she decided to meet up as well.

n guess wad we both got ourselves.....................

we're now the proud owners of the Sony Cybershot T-Series Family.With Nad's being a DSC-T5 and mine a DSC-T9.

i really have to thank my mummy and daddy for this gift.though it's not fully sponsored by them,at least it saves a bit of my money to pay the rest.but wadever it is i loveeee the cam n this is the best birthday gift i could ever get.thank you my parents.i love you so very the much.

n even with the limited battery life,we started clicking away on our new cams.mcm anak2 jakun lah kita ni.met up with diana at tampines and we made our move about 11pm.
i'm meeting my late-night-conference mates later.we're lepak-ing at east coast.i shall leave the post with a few of the photos i manage to shoot from my cam.but b4 dat,let's haf a last quick look at

kehkeheheeee...there u have it.my precious camera.this will be added as one of the stuffs that i'll never be able to leave the home with.ok ok photos for viewing as per below...

2005-12-19T02:52:00.000+08:00

oh my gaawwdd~!i dunno if i saw it rite,but i tink i just saw a shooting star!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-12-18T23:51:00.000+08:00

bestie came over to my place yesterday after work.i was plain lazy to go out,so might as well she chill at home with me.hehhz...watched dvd n all...nice time spent.n best thing was she slept over.=)
dgr2 i sleep very cute kan nad.kehkehkehke....

today i decided to get out of the house.hahahahaa....so met up with izzati n usop at bugis.was supposed to find a christmas gift,since the department is doing an exhange session on Tuesday.But ended up i did some shopping for myself as well.waddahell is wrong with me!!!!i'm like soo freaking broke,yet here i am spending money like water.oh well!!i just couldn't resist the temptation,especially knowing i could fit into a kid's size top.n it's cheap for a Levis.so yeah dat was a grab.now noww...i'm really a poor poor girl.gotta eat in at the office every dinner break till pay day.padan muka kau lynn. :S

n tomorrow,i'll be getting my Victoria Secret's EDT and Body Splash,flown all the way from overseas.yeayynesss!!!!!finally my hands will be on them after wks of waiting.

ok ok..a lot of my friends have been asking me bout Mr Mazda 6.so before anyone brings up the question again,i'll just give a lil update here.Me n him are still in contact,maintaining a good friendship.yes yes...i know he fits the description of a near perfect guy,but i'm not interested to indulge into another relationship.kalau korang2 nak,sila laa.hehhzz....sometimes it's better off as friends. :)

i need a bathe now.ramble another time.*toodles*

2005-12-16T03:16:00.000+08:00

it's already friday.meaning weekends are round the corner.weeeee~!has been a hectic wk.since it's yr end,there's so much things to resolve in the office.n doesn't help much when u have to do other people's work as well.sighhzz~!

BUT............amidst the tight schedule,i still manage to squeeze time to meet the 2 best frens just now.supper at changi village.filling our stomachs with nasi ayam penyek.yummmmyyyy~!i was like so craving for one since last wk la kan.n finally got it.yeayness~!

after the hearty supper,we lepak-ed by changi beach.we shared our life stories,experiences.it's been a while since we had such bonding session.dgr2 byk rahsia terbocor jugak.kahakhakhakahaa....but we know,we trust each other.rite naddy n helmy? =) i love u 2 loads.

i've decided to just take half day from work on the birthday,instead of full day leave.no plans laa since the drive up to KL was cancelled.maybe it'll be a nice time to just sit n relax @ home n catch up on my DVDs.hehhzz...i dun mind. :D

ok i'm tired.had a super duper long day.off to dreamland.

2005-12-15T00:01:00.000+08:00

Some photos from JB trip with the scandalous peepz~!My darling friends,thanx for making my weekend a fulfilling one :D

2005-12-13T03:18:00.000+08:00

gawddd...look at the time now.n guess wad,i just reached home~!i had to attend a 3 hr meeting which was totally redundant to me.errghhhh!!!it just gets on my nerves.

it's always about work isn't it.sheeshh.....

anyway i've been wanting to blog for quite some time,but everytime i want to,there'll always be something that will hinder me from doing so.i feel like as if i haf so much to tell.

the past wk has been fantastic i muz say.there was the bro's POP and my JB trip with the scandalous peeps.kehkeheekhekee....

My bro has finally passed out from BMT n i mus say i was quite impressed by the parade.his girlfren came with the family,along with his frens as well.i'm sure she must have felt proud of him.i would have felt the same way too if i had a bf in NS.it's like as if he has successfully passed a stage of his life after all the pains n tortures in camp,n to think he was able to endure it.
overall the parade went well n now that idiot is on 12 day block leave.which means no more peace at home.ekhkehkehekee....

JB trip was beyond words.i dunno how to describe it.it was really pure fun,madness n cam whoring.n it's been like sucha long time i took a bus to JB.it really felt different.n i couldn't stand the queue at JB customs.so slooowww like tortoise.n guess wad?when i was going back from JB to SG,i was being stopped at customs.hahahaaa....gara2 seludup DVD.but miraculously,the officers let me off with the DVDS.so yeayness i could still bring them home n stay put in front of the tv.kehekhehehe.....i have pics from both events.i'll post some once it's been uploaded.

the birthday is coming soon in 17 days time.i really dunno wad to do la kan.i have tots of driving up to KL with ma frens,but i couldn't stand the tot of the jam that i'll have to go thru at the causeway.any suggestions people?i really wanna enjoy my 22nd birthday since i was soo deprived of a celebration on my 21st.hmmm..i shall keep pondering over it.a spa party would be nice.keehkeheheee..rite diana?

oklah i'm getting hungry n sleepy now.but i'll forego the hunger n head to bed.dgr2 later i'll have to meet up with my cuzzy.hopefully i can wake up laa...if not i tink kirim salam saje la kan.kita jumpa dlm mimpi.hehhzz..

gd nite world~!

2005-12-04T00:23:00.000+08:00

i had a blast shopping with the lil one.now my pockets are officially burnt~!!!!!

n we only got home abt an hr back.hahahahahaa....

i finally bought for syafiq his gift.reason for the sudden generosity?he's one of the top 10% in his cohort.he made us proud kan!so yeah dis sis of him decided to give him a treat for the day.

he got his Jenga and Gelare ice cream.jadi lah tu...

kakak nye pun tak ketinggalan bershopping.i bought for myself the Esprit top that cost me a bomb,an Esprit mug,an adidas watch and a pair of Topshop pants.warrgghhh~!!!i have overspent this month.shheesshhh......ok no more shopping for the month unless someone can willingly sponsor?hahahahahahaa...... ;)

retail therapy made me a happy happy babe this wk.as for tomorrow,it'll be time spent with the family watching Dvds and playing Jenga perhaps?

have a great weekend fellow bloggers~!

2005-12-03T15:49:00.000+08:00

only 2 days of MC,n that made me itch so bad to go out.finally yesterday i made my way to work n enjoyed the nite out with my lesbo partners,nad n diana.ehehheee....we caught midnite show at Plaza Singapura.Movie was Prime.Quite a nice plot i muz say.oh n b4 dat i did some shopping at Blush! TM during my dinner break.

I was attacked with tummy upset since wednesday.it was so bad that i could not get out of bed.only till my mum fed me with medicine that was available that home,then i felt slightly better n consulted the doctor.I suspected it was food poisoning but the doctor said that it could be tummy upset due to viral flu.

i saw a top at Esprit that i so fell in love with yesterday.i'm intending to get it later though it'll cost me a bomb,and also a sweatshirt from Samuel & Kevin.gawwddd this is so much retail therapy.n yes how could i forget,i'm eyeing on the new Sony Cybershot DSC-T7 or DSC-T9 .I'm hoping to get that either this month or February.*hint hint* kkhekehkehkeee....

ok i wanna get dressed now.shopping with the lil bro~!

2005-11-30T03:05:00.000+08:00

approximately 4 months after my last break up,i finally went on a proper date just now.n guess where was it??it was Grand Hyatt bebeh~!yes u saw dat rite...a lunch date @ Grand Hyatt.be envious people.hehehee....

11.30am,Mr Mazda 6 called me up asking me whether i had dressed up n of coz i was already done by then.The moment i opened the door,there i saw him standing at the stairs.N his presence was accompanied by a bouquet of red roses with a bear in it.Sweetness from a very dashing guy,clad in Armani top and Hugo jeans.Cuberr ehk...branded siao ah dek ni.but in his words,"i dun go for brand...it's the quality that matters."YAH RITE!!

with his reliable black Mazda 6,we made our way down to Hyatt.dgr2 biler sampai hyatt,ada org park kan kereta dia.we were warmly welcomed by the people there and i was pretty much suprised that the staffs at Hyatt knew him.only by the end of our date,i finally understood y.oh well dats 4 me to know n 4 u to find out. :)

we were ushered all the way to the VIP dining.look again.VIP dok~!kehkehekhee...i tot we were like having lunch buffet or wad laaa...but no it was a course meal lunch with privacy.over lunch we talked about so many things.i found out bout his life story.n to think he has planned this lunch date quite some time back.it was all well prepared.siap dgn gambar and diary entries ah.dun play play.hehhzz...n really i felt like a princess for that moment.any wants of mine were served and fulfilled.i had so much fun laughing and conversing with him.i never knew he had so much to tell.

everything ended pretty well.i felt very honoured that he asked me out on a date to a very classy place with such fine dining.never in my life has any guy did such a romantic lunch date for me.just the 2 of us.thank you Mr Mazda 6.this is definitely one of the best moments in my entire life that i shall never forget.

n u know wad i like most about him.he's a very humble chap.never has he looked down on anyone who is not as well off as him.which explains y he took up BA in Sociology.he has interest in social work n helping out the community.maybe i could pull him in to 4PM?hahahahaa....errr...nehh....i'll perish the tots.

n u know wad he named me today?The Princess Of Grand Hyatt. ;)

gawwdd...he's so sweet like honey la kan.but know wad?i tink i still prefer a much average guy.with him i feel small la coz he's so well to do n bla bla blaaa...u know those kinda qualities he possess makes me feel a bit inferior.hahaaa...but den again who gives a damn kan?we're just frens.a clean friendship indeed. :D

n so that was lunch and off to work.dgr2 kena balik dulu pasal terlupa bawak hp n my pass.n kind enuff of him to send me home n to work.i want to post a pic of us here but he's not sending the pics to me.damn!he say it's better off being low profile.ok i haf to agree with him.hehhzz..

after all that classy lunch,u know wad i had for dinner?hahahaa...sup tulang with my colleagues n things start to turn ugly.it was a mess i tell u.hahahahaa...but the 4 of us definitely enjoyed our dinner with the bone marrows.khekhekhekee...

one of my babes felt very low today n i decided to meet up with her after work.girl,life is full of its ups n downs n that goes the same for relationships.i really felt for you upon listening to ur stories.n i really hate it that wad ur going thru is wad i have been thru b4.i know the feeling sucks but life has to go on.ur a strong n charismatic lady.i'm sure u'll pull thru.just remember wad we had talked about just now.no matter wad,our ex-es will always hold a special place in our heart,mind or even both. n if it has been stated that ur fated to be together once again,then u will be.

i believe in that n yes all my ex-es do have a special place somewhere somehow in me.even though shit happens,i always remember that they used to be a part of me n used to be my pillar of strength n shoulder to cry on.

ok dats a long entry for now.Princess Grand Hyatt will sign off first n head to bed with a wide wide smile. :D

2005-11-28T19:40:00.000+08:00

i had a weird weird dream last nite.I know dreams are just games in ur sleep.But it puzzled me that the dream brought me tears in reality.I tot i was just crying in the dream but when i woke up,i found myself "teresak-esak"(k i dunno how to translate that in english :P)and my cheeks were wet due to the tears.could it mean something?hmm...i dunno.

tomm will be my lunch date with Mr Mazda 6.khekhekhee....wad to wear eh?kauzz mentel siak lynn.well i tink he's a gd catch.check this out...he's an undergrad in NUS taking up sociology,Mazda 6 BELONGS to him n not to mention very good looking.if i had considered my ex hairi to be hensem,Mr Mazda 6 is wayy better than hairi lah.kehhekheeee...he's all in one bebeh.good looks + well off + educated brains.

oh no break time is almost up!i'll update again when i'm free...maybe tomm?i can do a write up of my date.hehhzz....have a great wk peeps ;)

2005-11-27T02:18:00.000+08:00

Mr Mazda 6 came to my rescue today.He saved my burning pockets from the cabs but i lost my bet to usop for being late.Thanx to him who wanted to fill up his tank first.But it's ok la...at least it was a free ride in a nice nice car :).

A day filled with walking,shopping n fine dining.U ppl ought to try 2HotHalal Cafe.It serves goood food.

Anticipating tuesday.Why?Coz Mr Mazda 6 n me are going out for lunch since he has no papers on that day.WhEeeEeEeeee!!!!!

Lalalalalalalaaaaaaaa....Dunno wad to update anymore coz i'm blogging cum conferencing with usop and izzati.Till the next entry............*muackz*

2005-11-19T03:54:00.000+08:00

i finally have the time to sit,relax and blog,at work that is.it's near to 4am.i'm really shagged to the max!!this has definitely been a hectic wk.my partner is away on reservist and there's so much work to be done.thank god he'll be back next wk.it's so hard to juggle between my own work and his.my own stuffs are even backdated ok just because i need to keep on pace with his stuffs.takut nanti kena mark pulak dgn lady boss kan.in the words of efni,hiruk pikuk dibuatnye hidup aku ni.

i've kinda lost the drive to blog.really!the job's really taking up a lot of my time.by the time i'm home,it's either wee in the morning or i'll be hogging on the phone.gawwddd...i have really turned to be a workaholic.

the life's been pretty much mundane.all i can think about is work & work.when i go to sleep,all that comes into my mind is the mails that i need to draft for the next working day and also the orders that i need to update.KENTAL KAN LYNN!!i can darely say my life revolves around IBM.arrgghhh~!i'm so mentally n physically exhausted.but i dun have much of a choice do i?

but then again,i'm glad to have a bunch of friends who're still there for me though i'm so caught up.the ones who never fail to listen to my daily rants n whines.the ones who bring my spirit up when i'm at my lowest.u ppl know who you're.thank you darlings~!

if given a choice,i would lurrvee to resign from this position.but that thot will diminish everytime i tink of the family.instantly i could potray the image of my mum in my mind,telling me to be strong n persevere.not to give up.n because of her,i will still go on with as much strength that i have.i'm not gonna let my family down.i'll strive till i can provide enuff for them.

k dah dah..lynn jgn nak setep emo plak pat sini ehk~!dgr2 tak jadi balik ni.tunggu 1st train of the day.baik ah~!camner ni..OTAK DAH MATI!!!i'll just go and do wad i can for now.just saw 160 workflows and 30 emails that need to be cleared.adios.

2005-11-05T02:44:00.000+08:00

Tis yr's hari raya is celebrated in moderation i muz say.Truth to be told,i wasn't even in the festive mood.I was too caught up with the job,working till wee hours in the morning just to gain the long leave that i applied for.also with my bro having to be in camp for this raya,it definitely feels so different.

and when i seek forgiveness from my parents on the morning of raya,i really felt the pinch.i know i have let my parents down in a lot of ways.i've sinned way too much,though they do not see it.But i felt the guilt in my conscience.at that point of time,i totally wished that i could turn back time and make things right.

without realising,we have reached near the end of the yr.i can't wait for this yr to end.seriously!too many things have been happening in this yr of 2005.i want 2006 to come asap so that i could wash away all my tots of 2005.with 2006 coming,i wanna start a lot of things anew.i wanna persevere thru life,build everything from scratch.

2005 has been a challenging year for me afterall.But i'm glad to have pulled thru every step that i took.

anyway to all,selamat hari raya.maaf zahir dan batin sekiranya ada terkasar bahasa ataupun tersilap kata.

i wish u knew how bad i want u to seek forgiveness from me.u have too many sins that are still stuck in my brains n they're yet to be forgiven.

2005-10-27T03:14:00.000+08:00

a friend once asked me,"lynn,would u choose someone u love or someone who loves u for who ur?"it was one question that set me into deep thinking.of course i couldn't give him the answer straightaway.i took some time to ponder over the advantages & disadvantages.

after much deep consideration,the answer i gave him was "i'd choose the one who loves me for who i am."

he was shocked.he thought i'm the kinda girl who'd stay with the one i love.

and i told him this."u~i'd definitely wanna stay with the one i love.but how guaranteed can i be that he loves me as much as i love him?how sure can i be it's not a one sided thing?how sure can i be that the sacrifices i will make for him is gonna be worthwhile? i chose the one who loves me for who i am is because i know i can learn to love him,and i'm willing to.n the fact is he already loves me for my own character n attitude.wad more can i ask for kan when i know myself better that i'm a hard to handle kinda girl."

u know,sometimes experiences make u a better & appreciative person in some ways.

why am i even talking bout this?haaa...i guess it's just a penny thot to share.

n NO..i'm not in love ok n i'm not attached.so stop believing all those speculations.

now back to reality check.i'm still not over my "depression" state at work.just when i tot i could cool down.another thing cropped up just now.instead of giving me 1 additional vendor,now they gave me 3!!!!blarrdy hell.i couldn't take the pressure,n i had to break down.in the words of my friends,i feel so "mangkuk" the whole day.luckily the starting of the day was not so bad.at least someone called to check up on me :D

i'm excited abt the weekends.can't wait,especially when pay is coming in abt 20 hours time!!!

i shall disclose more in the next entry.for now,i need some time alone.cheerios ppl!

2005-10-25T23:53:00.000+08:00

it's been a long time since i had a good,long cry.n today,i just had to pour all the tears out.

i'm really really stressed at work.exhausted physically n mentally.the stress level is getting higher by day and there's so much work yet so little time to complete everything.

n it doesn't help when ur own boss has too much expectations out of u.

pls understand i'm a human with only 1 pair of eyes,ears,hands.it's bad enuff ur letting me handle the company's top supplier ON MY OWN with 7 other suppliers on the list too.on one end,u expect me to focus on this top supplier.but one the other hand,when something crops up under my other remaining suppliers,u start to mark me.waddahell??!!

n when a problem arises for this top supplier,u screw me and say i'm not efficient enuff.N I HATE IT WHEN U SAY THAT!!!y??because i know i dun sit on my job and secondly the IBM personnels in USA is even telling me i'm doing a good job.y can't u at least credit me?

u say ur flexible.we as ur staffs can come to u when we have problems.i have damn approached u to say that i couldn't cope with 8 suppliers in total.but wad do u do?u simply ignore my say n to top it off,u added another one more supplier onto my list.WTF!!!!!!!ur adding more to my misery lady!u and the team lead are just the same.expect me to voice out but yet u used that against me.i dun c the point in speaking up anymore.

i dun know how long i can stand it here.it's really testing my patience.i dun expect much but just a sense of appreciation.is dat hard enuff??life is never fair for me.i always never get appreciated for what i do be it personally or not.argh fuck it.i'm sick of whining now.

sesungguhnya aku berpuasa...

2005-10-18T04:05:00.000+08:00

for the 1st time in my entire life,i witnessed a motorbike accident rite in front of my eyes.n da best thing was,i myself was on a bike.arrghh...trauma siak!I can still remember the abrasions on the girl's hands n legs.n the guy's hands were bleeding n all.errghhh...the helmets n the bike itself tercampak.oh gaawwdd!!i was really stumped la.when my fren stopped his bike to help,i just stood there.i didn't know wad to do.i was trying to calm myself down(mcmlah aku yg accident).after a while den i helped the girl.me n my fren tried clearing the road.imagine doing that at 1am.goshh...waited for the ambulance n traffic police to come,den we left the scene.

made our way down to meet another 2 frens on another bike n headed to newton for supper.we had crayfish,cockles,satay n murtabak.ah makan sampai tak tertelan.

crayfish=crabfish
muttongoat satay
hilang seliparku hilang(new version of geylang si paku geylang)

those were some of our inside jokes.ha ha ha....

on a more happier note,he's finally added me back to msn after donkey years,n we had our 1st official chat today.

Melts in your mouth,not in your hands.Dat's wad i definitely wanna get today.*winkz*

2005-10-16T13:25:00.000+08:00

there's just too many things to blog down and it's all jumbled up in my mind.goshh...maybe i should just blog the general ones down n keep the personal ones to myself?hmm...when i tink bout it,there's more of the personal ones rather than the generals.hahahaa...ahh who cares!i'll just type wad comes into my still-unawake-brains.

Roda roda ramadhan yesterday was a success,overall.Though i felt a tinge of disappointment that it wasn't as organized as the one i participated 2 yrs back,it was still an event that made my wk :)going to all the homes of those less fortunate ppl,especially the elderly ones truly touched me in a way or another.it makes me realise how much things i've taken for granted.n thankfully i had a bunch of nice kids in my group.so it was no problem communicating.the last house we went to was our hosting family.they are the ones who invited us to break fast together.good food,n a nice family indeed.sadly,we had to leave early to report back to Eunos CC.the abang actually wanted to call up 4PM to allow us to stay on a bit more.semangat kanz.hahahaaa...

at Eunos,we had our debrief n photo taking session.after dat it was lepak time!though i was quite exhausted,i still made my way down to Simpang Bedok.n of coz it spells F-U-N there.so many of us...so kecoh!pics will be up as soon as i upload them okaez!

Time have passed by us so fast that it's already coming to the 2nd wk of ramadhan.It's quite sad la that i can't manage to break fast with my family at home.But luckily i have azreen with me in the office.at least got fren n we take turns to bring food :)

N also in this month of ramadhan,i decided to make use of the opportunity to kick away some of my habits.it's hard i swear,especially with the withdrawal symptoms n all!but i'm determined laa...n thank god i have supportive ppl around me :)

ehhh!!suddenly i went blank.dunno wad to type down anymore.n my ayie is calling me.kahkahahaahaaa...i'll end dis post first n blog again when i have the time.so long fellow bloggers!

2005-10-10T00:49:00.000+08:00

dgr2 "bakal mak mertua aku" masakkan utk berbuka tadi.eh wait.bakal mak mertua ke ayah mertua?kahakahakahaaa..

lepak la...

suker korang eh tadi ketawa2 kan aku pat TM.
biasa lah da prime suspects.u know who ur.
dahlah time buka kena kacau rabak nak mampos.

takper takper...nasib baik korang members.

but i'm glad we managed to meet up for a while.
n fir,i was soooo elated to c u just now :)

i'm soo shagged.2 straight nites of supper n SSP in the early morning contributed to the awful eyebags n darkrings.damn!!

but den again,someone said i looked gorgeous when i'm simple n especially with the new hairdo.

adik2 akak jgn jeless...hehhehee...;)

when i tot bout it again,i tink he muz be blind.padehal padehal.*LOL*

i'm gonna consider having my sahur now.even though it's still a bit tad too early.n off to bed with no interruptions.

have a great wk ahead ppl.

2005-10-09T03:19:00.000+08:00

there's one thing dat i have realised in this world nowadays.girls can be damn materialistic huh?no..i'm not trying to discriminate my own kinda species.but uc it just saddens me how low a girl can stoop to such things.

the chat with my fren at jln kayu just now was quite an eye opener.we shared n exchanged views on this topic during supper.he's one very good example.

he's nice n all but frankly i can say he's not exactly attractive physically.more like an average guy.BUT he has girls wanting to be with him.Y??guess why?

JUST BECAUSE HE HAS A DAMN BIKE...n now a BIG ONE.

suddenly i feel so ashamed to acknowledge myself as a female.not because i belong to those type of girls...but because i c ard me,such ppl still live.

i dun deny i'm materialistic...yes i am.i admit.but i go all out to achieve them ON MY OWN.i dun wanna depend on someone else to provide me those.i have never anyway.

u know i could just imagine how hurt i would feel if a guy wants to befriend me just because i have a bike or a car.i mean ur bloody liking me for my property n not the way i am.

true it's damn easy to hitch someone because of wad u own.provided U OWN IT OUT OF UR OWN POCKET laa!!but den again,dun u feel cheated that someone likes u because of ur mode of transportation?

well at least we both felt the same just now.thank god we share the same view.but i really pity him la..in a way.lucky he knows how to tackle these kinda situations.:)

i dunno y i'm even blogging this down.

i guess it's just random tots when ur damn bored.

2005-10-08T16:40:00.000+08:00

the long awaited news finally came to our ears.

an unexpected one..

things are gonna change tremendously.

now till years to come...

in my mind,heart n soul..

it will all be about me n my family.

my priority will be the family,

nothing else but the family.

Oh allah,pls give me n my family the willingness to persevere this journey that U have pathed for us.though it's gonna b a rough one,i beg for UR guidance.n me being the eldest child,i hope U will grant me that strength to be able to be the main support for each and everyone.

i am ready to face this.to begin this twining route of life.

pls pray for us.

i'll start it with a Bismillah.

2005-10-05T01:10:00.000+08:00

i had a blasting weekend!!!yeps definitely....

friday i managed to get time off from work.
set off to TM to meet diana first,followed by izzati.
made way to chalet at 10pm.
the gathering at chalet was fantastic!
nite walk was something i will never forget,especially the old japanese school.
prize exchange was wonderful.
lucky draw was the best!hahahaa...y?coz i was among the top 5 winners.*winks*
left the chalet at 4am.it was quite sad la dat i couldn't overnite there coz i had plans the next day.
but you know wad spices up that friday?to be bumping into 2 ex-es on the same day.how cool can dat be.hahahaa...

saturday,batam trip!!something i anticipated.
all we did were to shop n shop n shop.till we lost track of time.
didn't manage to catch the last ferry back home.
stranded in batam,
with no cash.
the best thing,i didn't bring my Visa.neither did my friends.
n our hps went flat on us.no kidding.

nak tahu kisah selanjutnya?approach me...n i'll tell ya.hahahaaa...

n suddenly i miss my long brownish-black hair.....*go figure*

a fellow SSP tutor called me just now to ask me how i was.hahaha..apparently he was worried when he heard i was stranded in batam.touching ek?kahkahkaha..but it was so funny when he said that he tot i was stranded due to the bali bombing.nak pecah perut ketawa.kwang kwang kwang...

an unplanned adventure that made my week.n i'm so exhilirated that i manage to get Peter Pan's latest album which is soundtrackz for this indonesia movie,Alexandria.cannot get it in singapore.kahahakhakhaa...n da songs are damn nice i tell u.some of them are re-makes of the original but with a different melody.i even got ressa's album.noice!!his voice can make me melt laaa...when i'm free i will change my background song to either one of the albums yeah. :)

it's the start of the fasting month today.to all my fwens out there,do make full use of this holy month.sadly i'm unable to perform my terawih prayers regularly this yr due to work commitments.anyhoots,let's hope this month of ramadhan will bring serenity to all of us.Selamat berpuasa ye sume... :)

Coretan Minda

2005-09-30T04:11:00.000+08:00

terpanah aku seketika melihat keindahan malam ini.
bintang bintang bergemerlapan,
di sebalik awan yang kemerah merahan.
alangkah menakjubnya kejadian tuhan yang maha esa.

bertemankan angin sepoi sepoi bahasa,
terasa diri ini seperti dihanyut ke alam maya.
aku duduk diam terpaku,
untuk terus menikmati kesyahduan malam.

sejenak ku mengenangkan masa lalu yg pernah ditempuhi.
tidak ku nafikan penuh dengan onak ranjau dan duri.
kehidupan yang sememangnya bebas,
tetapi bergelumang dengan dosa.

aku sedar aku hanya insan biasa,
yang tidak pernah lepas dari kesilapan.
namun aku masih inginkan peluang...
peluang untuk memperbaiki diriku.

keazaman untuk mengubah cara hidupku,
telah kian tersemat di hati.
walaupun aku tahu ianya cukup payah,
akan ku terus mencuba sehingga bertemu ke pangkal jalan.

ya allah,berikan aku kekuatan,
tebalkan semangat dan keimananku.
semoga tercapai hasratku ini,
dengan bimbingan daripadamu.

2005-09-27T03:13:00.000+08:00

the blog's been pretty much abandoned for the past wk or so.i just had no time to spare for blogging.i was caught up with work the whole of last week.

wk 38 of yr 2005 has been once of the most terrible wks of all,in my history of working.but den it did had a good end.thank god. (:

i truly apologise for those who have been sms-ing and calling but did not get a response back from me.time did not permit me to get back to all.

Sunday,25th september was one of the days dat i truly anticipated.it was the children's day celebration for the SSP kids at Jurong Bird Park.all i can say is we ALL had fun,be it the committee members,facilitators and of coz the kids.the kids were horrible ppl!!haahaa...can u believe that they actually sabo-ed all the tutors to get wet.omg!!!!mardhiah and the other kids literally pulled me down to the wet playground.dahlah akak tak ready,pakai jeans pulak tu...tak senonoh langsung.but it was all in the name of fun.n during this activity i could feel the SSP volunteers bonded with one another.n i muz say we're all anticipating this friday's chalet.woohooo!!!

despite the cock ups n last minute preps,we as a committee did a great job.it was just so satisfying n fulfilling to c the smile on everyone's face.it really proved the amount of fun they had.my heartiest congratulations to the comm,made up of lydiana,ain,zuraidah,nadiah,syai,sultan n not forgetting myself.it was a pleasure working with all.a learning experience indeed.

zur n i had the "greatest" end to the day.rite zur?wakhakhakwhakhakhaka....n darling,can i have the pics puhleaassee.....thank u very nice~

n guess wad after the whole tiring day of activity,i couldn't wake up for work on monday.mum woke me up at 1pm but i really couldn't get out of bed.before i know it,i was back to slumberland only to be awoken at 5pm!!!!!!!!!n yes ms lazy bum here decided to take MC.takleh tahan...badan akak sengal2,tak terkata.n da best thing was the doc gave me 2 DAYS!!!!best kan??which means no work again today..yeayyy!!!!

dis wk is going to be a happening wk,especially the whole stretch from thursday nite to sunday.

dan buat pengetahuan kengkawanku di 4PM,sayer apply half day utk friday.but i can't promise as to whether it'll be approved.so tak janji whether i can reach the chalet early ok.paham2 jek lah dah 2 hari MC.ehehhee...

i'm still wide awake as of now,but i tink i better head to bed.nanti dah golek sana sini,mesti tertido jugak.

toodles!!!

p/s : zur!!aku dah update pistol.kau biler pulak?

2005-09-18T02:03:00.000+08:00

my wireless network is being such a bitch at the moment.when i am bz chatting on msn,it will just choose to disconnect n reconnect.peh irritating!!!

but on a slightly lighter note,the days have been great so far.BESTARI awards on friday was a success even though there were a few hiccups here n there.n me being the prize presenter sempat tangkap glamour kejap atas stage.dgr2 pun muka kluar tv...hahahaa....famous jap.but overall i had a great time at ite simei.bonding with the volunteers,catching up with those i have not met for quite some time,bz-ly camwhoring.kehkehkehee...fantastic!!it's been a while i felt so close with the rest.n never i knew dat i could actually click damn well with some.this event gave me the opportunities to discover that.

after BESTARI,we lepak-ed at tampines.we felt like one huge family.ehhehee...u know that kinda feeling that sinks in u after not being active in such major events.satisfying i tell u.never i regretted applying for leave to attend this prestigious event.n so at abt 11+pm,the bestie helmy fetched me n nad from telepark.izzati n diana also followed along.well it was a rough start i mus say but it all ended well.the outing was damn fun la!!!dapat test drive his car.haaa...thank you babes n dude.it was definitely great to be hanging out together.

n yesterday,i came by 4PM with my darling ahmad to hand in my maths paper for today's SSP exams.i also wanted to meet up with the fellow RSP-ians.nak lepak2...dah lama kan tak pay RSP a visit.fantastic time indeed with all.n also i manage some time with ahmad himself.dah lama kan tak heart to heart talk with him.khekhekhekhee...it's funny how our platonic friendship has progressed.i guess since both of us have traits of a capricorn,it makes us click so well.our closeness do raise some unwanted attention,being mistaken for some young couple in love.hahahaha..can i just laugh out loud at that thot??yerlah betul telinga mendengar,mulut mengata.....i dunno la i dun find it wrong for close frens to call each other dear la...syg la...i mean it's all spontan kan...

funny ain't it..kalau lelaki dgn pompan berkawan rapat,mesti ada gossip.but when it's girls n girls..takde cerita pongzz...i kiss my gfs when i meet them.tak jadi cerita pun?pelik kan kan kann..haiyoohh...ni la lumrah manusia.

i can't get myself to sleep rite now.something is on my mind.tots of friendship.to me to have a trusted n sincere friendship is a commitment.i love my friends,i care for them a lot.close friends are precious to me n never would i trade them for anything else.not even a boyfriend ok.i'm serious.

my 2 best friends for life being nad n helmy.
my 3 close babes being asryna,diana n izzati.
my 1 n only darling boy ahmad.

these 6 people who come from different walks of life make up a part of my life.these are the friends who have been supportive of me in wadever i do,no matter how bad or good.i thank god that i found all 6 of them.they are my source of strength n also the drive to keep me going on in life.they are my confidantes n shoulders for me to cry on when things get rough.

yes it's true no one among them are perfect.each of them have their own character n their own ups n downs.we do have our disagreements n disappointments,but that doesn't mean these will bring us down.especially to the best friends.5 yrs of friendship has been like a sea with unpredictable waves.but we still hold on strong.n i thank you guys for that.n this goes the same too for the rest though it's only been a yr or two of friendship.i love u guys like my own flesh n blood.i mean it sincerely from the bottom of my heart.

i tink i would need to seek advice from someone today.i found out abt something just now n i'm scared it might affect my friendship.i shall brush it off for now n head to bed for some sleep first.

2005-09-12T20:03:00.000+08:00

weekends were spent at home.i nearly wanted to go out yesterday after SSP,but decided to cancel my plans with my fren.i just felt like chilling out at home.n so i did...it was peaceful being home alone.my peeps n bro went out shopping.so being the lazy one i just slept at home,watch some tv..

caught MIB II on channel 5.interesting show i must say.talked to nad a bit over the phone n waited till midnite to wish

HAPPY 23RD BIRTHDAY TO MY BESTIE HELMY!!!

hahaaa...suweet tak...i sing for him sum more.kahakhakhaa...well boy let's hope our plan this friday will jadi ok!!

n today my so beloved contact lenses had to tear on me.of all days!!!soooooo..i ended up to work with

yes...u saw it specs!i look so tembam n cikgu2 rite....*smacks head*

n if my dear mum never get my lenses for me today,there will be a high possibility that i might need to come to work with specs again.oh how much i dread the tot!

ok i need to get back to my piles of emails n workflows.

2005-09-11T00:57:00.000+08:00

6.00am...everyone in the house was forced to wake up.we had to get all ready to send my bro off.all of us had to be present at pasir ris bus interchange by 7.30am.and to my surprise we all were in time.haaa...we still managed to snap some photos.

upon reaching,we waited for my bro's friends n gf who were also sending him off there.my bro said his last goodbyes to them n i could see tears welling up in his eyes especially when he had to part with his gf.haaa...aww so sweett..

we were queuing in the line to take the pulau tekong bus when i saw 2 frens of mine who were the army personnels in charge at the bus line.n boy i was expecting to see more at tekong itself.

we boarded the bus which brought us to the SAF ferry terminal.the ferry ride was a bit bumpy la but it was one time that i get to sit next to my bro n talk.he was anxious i can c..but i told him that it'll be over even before u know it.n of course in the ferry we managed a few shots.

it was only about a 5-10 mins ride.n walllaaaaa we reached torture island.

being at tekong felt like as if i was entering TP minus the presence of girls.hahahaa...i saw so many of my friends there.my mum was like so surprised to know i had a lot of pals in tekong.n yeah i had a nice time "washing eyes".ahahaaa..can't deny that the officers there are quite good looking laa...sempat lynn sempat.my mum aso sekaki.bagusla tu.

we were brought around the BMTC.i mus say that it is quite modernised.very impressive.i tink my bro will be able to survive there.

during the oath ceremony,i was close to tears to c my bro being officially declared as a recruit.it was very solemn indeed.i do hope he will do his best!n so after the ceremony,it was off to the canteen for meal sampling.yeah they had catered food,but i dun quite like the meal la.hahahaa..fussy mahh...i cannot imagine my bro having to eat those meals almost everytime.hahahahaa...n it was during the meal sampling that we as a family had our last meal together.after dat he was off to boot camp baybeh.

bro sent all of us back to the ferry terminal.we had our last hugs n kisses.mum cried n i was near to doing so.but no..kena maintain.but i do hope he will take care of himself.we managed one last shot of both of us.

oh!he mms-ed me his new look just now n boy was i surprised to find out that he is in the same bunk as one of azhar's friends.haa..small world.

n so there u go..2 yrs of NS for my beloved bro.may the force be with him.

2005-09-10T02:35:00.000+08:00

in abt 6 hours time,my bro will be a permanent resident of tekong for at least 3 months.n in abt 6 hours time too,i will be sending him off with my family.the fact that he is leaving for NS just sunk in me,n it's making me cry.

as bad or idiotic as he may be,he is still my bro.i'm gonna miss the squabbles,the late nite talks that we kinda have,the times he will wait n fetch me downstairs when i'm off from work,the times he will comfort me when i'm really down.god...this feels worse than a break up!!!believe it or not,i'm actually crying as i type this entry.

my dear bro,Muhammad Hisham Anwar i will really miss u terribly when ur away.true..somehow i was glad of ur departure to NS but at the same time it affects my soul to see u go off n b a slave to the country.

i will make sure i will hug u tight n plant kisses all over u before u officially become a recruit.no matter wad ever shit that happened to us,i still love u my beloved bro,from the bottom of my heart.we as a family will pray for ur welfare there n u will always be in our thots.

n hopefully NS will do u good n make u a more matured person.
once again u'll be terribly missed & i truly love you.

2005-09-08T16:53:00.000+08:00

today is my officially lazy day.i'm so not in the mood to do any work,n it doesn't help much when one of my !@#$%^ analyzer escalated me up to my manager.Nak kena smack jek.bloody hell.

i've been yawning n trying my best to open up my droopy eyes.n oh b4 it slips my mind...

HAPPY 22ND BIRTHDAY MY DEAR BABE,NADIAH!!!!!

n of coz being such a *ehem* nice pal,i was with her on the strike of midnite of 08/09/2005,at Simpang Bedok with Azreen too.hee...see such a nice fren i am.kehehkehee....

something hilarious happened yesterday.i was in the MRT making my way to work.as i was standing by the door,someone approached me.it was a boy dressed in pasir ris secondary school uniform.

Boy:helo
Me:*with the blur look* hi
Boy:nama u sape?
Me:Lin
Boy:nama i adib.boleh berkenalan?
Me:*sniggers*err..u know i'm old enuff to be ur sista tau.
Boy:Eh?Umur u brapa?
Me:22

haahahaaa...thank god i was about to alight the train.apparently to cover his butt,he said it was ok to be frens.i couldn't be bothered n said that i had to alight.

well...i didn't know i looked THAT young.bodoh nye budak.suspek lah sikit!
so shud i take it as a compliment or as an insult?
u tell me...

2005-09-07T01:49:00.000+08:00

i was browsing thru our photos.

we had a lot of fond memories didn't we?

from the studio pix to the surprise birthday party to the outing with my small bro to sentosa pix.n many more....

i can't help but weep at the sight of them.

as the malay saying goes,"kenangan tinggal kenangan."

even after everything,i still miss u la.

shit!

dat's a confession.but rest assured it's only temporary.these kinda things happen occasionally.i'm determined to leave the past behind.the tot of the downturns that i had to bear,the heart wrenching moments n the anger i had to feel,keep me going on this battle btwn the mind n the heart.i believe i will pull thru.

before i forget n if u still do read this blog,i just wanna wish u the best of luck entering NS life nxt wk,on the 13th.it was a part of my dreams to have sent u off to the academy,but yeah let's just bury the tot shall we.anyhoots,do take good care of urself n hopefully u will have a smooth sail enduring ur 2 yrs of NS.n of course as a friend n including the rest,we will pray for ur safety n well being.

my frens are gonna grumble at my entry.haa..
u all better not.
nyehh!!!!

2005-09-05T20:00:00.000+08:00

my cousin's wedding is finally over.weekends were great.i was at her house for both days.it was fun to c all cousins gather n stuffs.i was their mak andam for 2 days.hahaha...

n as expected my aunties n uncles sume disturb2...asking when's my turn.tak dapaatt!!!matair pun takde...nak kahwin ape?hahaha...the most interesting thing that happen during the wedding was,the photographer actually remembered me from the wedding i attended last wk.paiseh betaa....n the best thing is i found out that he's my distant uncle.baik ah.

i had a good time.me n some cousins planning to have a nite outing one of these days.weee!!!can't wait.can't wait.

to add on more to my happiness,i got to know that he is finally dating someone.Thank God!!!My frens call me crazy to be happy bout him dating someone else.well...y should i let him limit his choice to me?i'm not even ready lah...so it's good for him to explore wad's out there.it doesn't matter if we can't get to be together.it's all fate kan kan kan. :)

k gotta start working back,though i'm so shagged.till next update.have a great week people!!!

2005-09-01T20:17:00.000+08:00

I'm kinda tired to type out bout my so happening weekend.maybe posting pics will be a good substitute?hehhzz....enjoyy!!!

BATAM

DATE WITH SYAFIQ,FOLLOWED BY MEET UP WITH DA REST

HAIRI'S SIS WEDDING

2005-09-01T19:00:00.000+08:00

i'm suuuupeeerr bored at work.it's dinner break now but i'm not having any meal for now as i had late lunch.which explains y i'm blogging now n at the same time tuning to Ria.it's playing jiwang tunes now.hahahaa...(am listening to Ning Baizura's Ku Kesali)

anyway i went diamond shopping today.weeee!!!mum was so nice to sponsor.best ehhh...mum said it's her gift to me for graduating from poly.sweet kan!!!love her to bits.and all of us are anticipating my cousin's wedding this weekend.all the gotong royong n stuffs.i tink i'm gonna make an exception for myself.hahahhaa...hey i've been sick ok since i got back from batam.tapi tetap pegi keje jugak.i so wanted to take mc,but i have piles n piles of pending issues to resolve.

bro is enlisted this 10 Sept.army has finally called him.thank god!!!finally i have the whole house to myself.but i tink i will miss him in a way la...all the stoopid quarrels n vulgarities.hahahaha....n of coz since i'm such a *ehem* sweet sis,i will send him off to tekong.n i shall rejoice after that.kahkakakhaaa...

the in-house bro has been msgin/callin me everyday,even while in the jungle.weird...shouldn't it be another way?i wonder y he really is hoping hard for something to work out.i kinda like talked to mum bout it.surprisingly she's ok with it.mum even gave me her blessings.but i told mum that it is still a bit tad too early to finalise a decision.mum understood and leaves it all up to me.awww...mum is just irresistably suweett duncha all think so? :)

can't believe all the happenings rite now in me.but wad i know is i wanna enjoy,enjoy,enjoy n enjoy with no strings attached!!!cool ain't it.n oh i just realised that all my close frens are either attached or have a partner.congrats ahmad!ur finally together with vivie.nad,izzati...bila nak dgn partner masing2?hahaha..izzati is gonna scream at me upon reading this.hahaha..suspek lah sikit lynn.nyeh!!!as for me,i know i'm better off the way i am now.*smiles*

ok i'm getting hungry.gonna grab a bite.TGIF tomorrow.

2005-08-30T23:58:00.000+08:00

ALASANMU-exist-

ikhlasnya hati sering kali di salah erti
tulusnya budi tidak pernah engkau hargai
berlalu pergi dengan kelukaan ini
ku mengalah ku bersabar

bertentang mata seolah olah tiada apa
berpaling muka ada saja yg tidak kena
mencari sebab serta alasan yg kukuh
supaya tercapai hajatmu

manis dibibir memutar kata
malah kau tuduh akulah segala penyebabnya
siapa terlena pastinya terpukau pujukmu rayumu
suaramu yg menagih simpati dan harapan

engkau pastinya tersenyum
dgn pengunduran diriku
tetapi bagiku pula suatu ketenangan

andainya kita terus bersama
belum tentu kita bahagia
selagi tidak kau ubah cara hidupmu

ada rahmatnya bila tidak lagi bersama
terasa jauh diriku ini dgn dosa
ku tinggalkanmu walau tanpa kerelaan
yg nyata kau tidak berubah

bertentang mata seolah olah tiada apa
berpaling muka ada saja yg tidak kena
mencari sebab serta alasan yg kukuh
supaya tercapai hajatmu

manis dibibir memutar kata
malah kau tuduh akulah segala penyebabnya
siapa terlena pastinya terpukau pujukmu rayumu
suaramu yg menagih simpati dan harapan

engkau pastinya tersenyum dgn pengunduran diriku
tetapi bagiku pula suatu ketenangan
andainya kita terus bersama
belum tentu kita bahagia
selagi tidak kau ubah cara hidupmu

katalah apa yg kau ingin
selagi kau dapat berkata
memang begitu sikapmu semenjak dahulu
andainya kita terus bersama
belum tentu kita bahagia
selagi tidak kau ubah cara hidupmu

2005-08-30T18:57:00.000+08:00

i wanted to blog about my oh-so-fantastic weekend,which was made up of my batam trip,my date with syafiq n the wedding.but i guess i'll blog it down another day.need to pour my inner thoughts.

how do i tell you that i'm not that girl that you knew 4yrs back?i've changed...tremendously.that girl 4yrs back is already dead.now she's someone whom i tink u would never expect her to be.will u be able to accept me for wad i am now?

2 yrs of waiting,touched me alot.never i knew you thought about me all these while.never i knew you cared n never i knew you didn't give up hope.the most shocking thing was never i knew you have changed ur ways for the better.

y ru just so nice?i've always thought u deserved better.

i'm sorry..i'm not ready for anything.
give me time.
i dun wish to be unfair to u.
i'm still recuperating from my past relationship.
the heartbreak was a big blow.

i'm enjoying my current lifestyle,my company of friends.lemme make full use of wad i have now.call me selfish,i dun mind.we've always been friends rite?

sesungguhnya i terharu sebab perasaan u terhadap i tak pernah berubah.tapi i mohon,berilah i masa utk meleraikan segalanya.dan i juga pinta,jgn letak harapan yg tinggi.cukupla i pernah dikecewa oleh insan lain.i tak mahu u pula yg dikecewakan oleh i.u dun deserve it.

2005-08-26T02:03:00.000+08:00

pay is in!!!!!weeeehhhoooooo!!!!!!i can definitely enjoy my time in batam today.it's calling me...weeeee!!!!

time is 2am,yet i'm not asleep.macam mana nak bgn pagi ni..takpe i have 2 human alarm clocks to wake me up.hehhzz...i just ended my phone conversation with izzati...haiizz...org tu tgh phone dating skarang...bleh tahan eh izzati lepas balik ubin ada2 jek.kahkahkahkaaa....how now?i got no phone date.poor poor me...*sobs* hahaha...go sleep aso better la ek. :P

n oh b4 dat..just to blog dis down : andy,u schuweet little thang.hahahaa...willing to do anything for me ek..awwww....kahkahakhaka....nanti suruh buat yg tak terbuat baru tau..hahahaa...my colleagues will know this story.hahaahaha...office scandal.woohooo!!dasyat lynn.

k k better head to dreamland now.good nite world! =)

2005-08-23T02:40:00.000+08:00

dum di dum di dumm...hehhzzz....izzati darling just called me.poor poor babe,she's so shagged out at ubin.while me?i'm one happy happy babe who just came back from a game of pool :).something which i might sux at,but am slowly catching up.

nothing much to update here in the blog.all i know is i'm gonna be packed with 4PM stuffs.need to work on exam papers n children's day celebration for SSP,necessities for tarian organized by 4PM aso,n maybe BITE awards?something which is still on pending la.
work is killing me.i swear it is.but maintain tetap maintain.

am anticipating this 26th n 28th respectively.
26th=my batam trip.BATAM...HERE I COMMEEEE!!!!!*winkz*

it feels so good today,which explains the header text.
God is fair.
Karma has struck upon u.
"Wad goes around,comes around"

the oh-so-happy babe is off to rummage the kitchen for food.her happiness is making her extremely in the mood to EAT!am enjoying it while it lasts. ;)

2005-08-20T23:58:00.000+08:00

i muz say that today is one of the best days of my life ever since a mth back.

the PTGs met up with the PTLs...like finally.
wad is PTG?
wad is PTL?
dats for me to know n for u to find out.ahhahahaaa....

n so the wonderful journey of the day started in the afternoon.the babe n the 2 guys fetched me from home at abt 3pm.after much tot,we decided to go to PS for movie session.si mamat mamat ni...nama jek tau ride motor,tapi sense of direction hancus!!!kahkahahakaa....

upon reaching PS,we didn't know wad to watch n the best thing was,the queue was suuuper looong.so we had lunch instead at LJS.kena spoot ajek...ape lagi tak kasi chance ah.mesti spot balik.we managed to break the ice during lunch n by then,we all got comfortable with one another.

after lunch,we were kinda lost abt where to go..sampai the guys dah bis hisap rokok pun,we were still undecided.so wad we did was,we just hop on the bike n rode around ending up at esplanade.there,we lepak-ed while watching parachutes n helicopters flying around.kena2 kan each other,kutuk mengutuk.ahahahaha...

6pm...we made a move to east coast.i had to attend a chalet at costa sands,so da guys decided to go ecp a bit earlier to lepak by the beach pulak.tapi yg penting ek,tu bukan motif diorang.their main motif was to race on the expressway.sukerrr~~n dat was one of the moments that never would i forget.hehzz....

the lepak session by the beach was more of a reminiscing session.me n the babe were laughing our hearts out bringing back our past memories in school,the guys had their own talk aso la...tapi sempat2 jek menyampuk kita org.we were entertained by mp3 from da hp.part2 lagu jiwang jek ada jek org yg senyap.hhahahaa...sape ek?tepuk dada,tanya selera.but definitely not me.khakhakhaa....

at abt 8.30pm,we finally made a move n the guys were kind enuff to send us to costa sands.tak payah waste energy berjalan.:)

never would i forget the change of environment.
never would i forget the ride on CTE...the part where we selit2 in btwn 2 taxis.
never would i forget the "mak engkau & mak i".
never would i forget the bloopers that were spotted.
never would i forget the 120km/h on ECP.
never would i forget the race on ECP.
never would i forget the "wad's ur name again?" incident.
n definitely never would i forget today.

thank you naddy,azhar n azmi.u ppl made my day.y?cos i managed to have my own share of fun in the mainland even when the rest were enjoying their camp in ubin.nyeh!!!

next wk's PTL-PTG outing to be confirmed by tuesday yah nad,n next time can i have a ride on the TZM instead?puhleaassee....hehehee....nak compare sape lagi maut.hahahahaa...:P

i'm like totally worn out.2 chalets on 2 consecutive days,n almost a whole day out today.n the best thing is i have SSP tomorrow.yet i can't sleep.better go wash up now.:)

naddy babe : wo ai ni horr...<3

izzati & ryna babe : i miss u 2 la...faster come back from ubin n we can meet up!

ahmad darlink : i miss u aso horr..didn't expect u to b at ubin either.anyway "thanx" la for the nagging on the phone juz now.i c ur concern,n i appreciate it tau.

2005-08-17T00:52:00.000+08:00

as promised,pics r up!!!enjoy...

never could i imagined having such fun.we're up for the next recce.can't wait!:)

2005-08-14T23:39:00.000+08:00

woww wwweeee!!!!recce trip to Sentosa with part of the committee was fantabulous.definitely a perfect place for the celebration.

i'm glad i changed my mind to go for the recce.initially i was quite hesitant,especially if we were to pass by palawan beach.but i told myself,until when shud i hang on to the past?n yes i did it!not a choice i regretted. :)

i'm wayyyy too shagged now.once diana has posted the pixz up,i'll put them up here in the blog,n let the photos do the talking.i pRoMiSe!!!! :D

Signing off...

2005-08-12T23:57:00.000+08:00

my brother is quarreling with his gf on the phone.wad's new?hahaha...sakit telinga aku.penat2 balik keje,dgr org memekak pat telephone.wad luck.but anywayyy...it was a fruitful day today.i managed to clear so much work.ni la org kalau dah on leave for 2 days,keje bertimbun timbun.thank god i could manage la.

so being on leave means,i went out.both days that is.heee...managed to catch charlie & the chocolate factory.it was a great movie.suddenly brings out the childish side of me.i wanna go watch wedding crashers.any takers?buzz me yeah.:)

i dun have exactly much to blog.i'm feeling a lil low.mum broke news to me abt something a few days back.it's news that could entirely change the whole family.a whole lot of possibilities playing in my mind.which could mean that i might need to let go totally of my current lifestyle.i know that it would be a good step.not that i'm not ready for it,but the fun just started.maybe i shall look at it in a positive way.it will do me good.

it's hard being the eldest child.n especially when u have started working,u start to feel the need to share some responsibilities with the household.mann..this is really something that i never expect would happen in my life.i'm praying hard now that my family will be in the safe hands of god.dear allah,if it was already stated in ur books that we as a family might have to go thru a period of hardship,i pray that it would only be temporary n i pray that u will bless us with rezeki yg murah n rahmat.but for now i'm praying on hard that it will not happen.*cross fingers*

it's times like these that i need someone special to pour my hearts out n to hug.ahhhh stop it stop it.i'm just making myself sound pathetic.i know i'm able to stand up on my 2 feet.i know i can.

errgghh that feeling is coming back.i hate it...i hate it!!!blearghh..........shoo shoo.oh no!!!i can feel it at the brim of my eyes.n slowly it's flowing down the face that has been disguised by smiles n laughters all these while.it's tears.tears of a girl struggling to rebuild her shattered hopes & dreams.

i'm sorry for the sudden outbreak of emo-ism.
totally am.

2005-08-09T22:17:00.000+08:00

it's the nation's 40th birthday today n guess where i am?at the office of course.well...i'm not such a patriotic singaporean i must admit.seems that i'm more patriotic to IBM.ahakzz...

last nite was marvellicious.it was such a hilarious nite.left the office abt 11+ n reached raffles place quite late i muz say coz y,si pandai2 ni took the long route to get there.so after we parked the car,we made our way fast2 to the nearest bus stop to catch the bus.faham2 jek lah the road to marina was closed.diana n nad so semangat walk so fast while me n azreen relek jek jln.haloo cannot make it ah with heels.while we were walking,i was just telling azreen that who knows the bus will come while we're happily strolling.skali betul kau!!dah terkejar kejar bus.hahahaa...me n azreen were like panting already in the bus.den we tot could make it in time for the countdown la...sekalii JAM!!!!!tak ke bingit..n as expected the fireworks started even before we could alight.den we all so excited in the bus when we realised that the works started.n i'm pretty sure the bus driver must have realised it that once he managed to clear from the jam,he sped all the way in.fuiyyooyy apek lu barang baik ah i said.hahahaahaa..

upon alighting,diana n nad were like of coz running laa...semangat kekentalan la diorang ni.i n azreen just continued walking as we could actually see the fireworks la while walking.but we managed to catch the grand finale at the spot.boootiiifuull i tell u.hehhzz....anyway to cut the story short la kan,we met up with fir there.he was with his adventure club frens.going back was a chore as everbody was rushing to get the bus.so we separated from fir n told him to meet us at raffles place.bagus jugak lah dia ada.he became our driver for a while.hahahaa...biasa jugak kita gi supper at jln kayu.supeerr hungry u!

jln kayu was packed i tell u.but we managed a seat.ordered our food n our ms azreen kena kacau.hahahahaa..."can you do me a favour?can u pls smile coz u look sweet when u smile."hahahahaahaa...dat was the pick up line used.lepak lah!!but he was sweet laa...in a way.ok ok really need to cut my story short.wanna go homee...soo sleepy..though it was such a slack day.spending time in front of the tv in the office.hahahahahahaa...at least still watch national day parade wadd...actually wanted to keep a look out on someone la.haa...ok really gotta go now.till another time. :)

2005-08-08T22:30:00.000+08:00

8 August.Today was actually meant to be a special day.But it's all in the tots.I started feeling sappy since the beginning of the day.Continued reminiscing the good old times,which brought me to tears.I hate that feeling.errghh~

never mind abt dat.it's close to 9 August in a few hours time.I'm hoping the fireworks display that i'm gonna catch later will be a good start to a new day.yesh i'm heading to Marina South after work later.weeee~so exciting.

received a mail today which totally surprised me.my dear babe,we've been worried bout u eversince then.been trying to contact u but to no avail.i hope ur doing fine.pls do get back to us once u've straightened ur tots.we're here for u no matter wad.just remember dat.

i'm still a bit upset.so much for monday blues.wanna pack up now.Marinaaaa..heerree i coomme!!!

2005-08-07T23:56:00.000+08:00

as i'm typing this now,i'm concurrently having a msn war with Din.dunno waddaheck is his problem.dia yg ada masalah dgn cuzin aku,aku plak yg kena.weiii...nak cari gaduh pun carilah org lain.ape lagi tak kasi chance la.mesti kena bombard nye.i'm not gonna budge.these kinda ppl cannot let them step too much on u.nanti naik kepala.learnt my lesson.haaa...

i feel like as if i have so much to blog.but i'm rather tired.ok more like exhausted.just do a quick summary lah eh coz there's some stuffs that really tickles me.

met up with nad yesterday in the evening,though i still did not have enuff sleep.we girls went SHOPPING!!!retail therapy baybeh.we shopped till we dropped man.from TOPSHOP to U2 to FOSSIL to TANNLINES....n many more lahh...lepas dah penat shopping,ape lagi..makanlah!!!we had a damn late dinner la at Swensens.it was like 10+ already.lucky Swensens at Crown hotel open 24 hrs.like finally we get to sit down n enjoy a quiet meal after being so kecoh the rest of the evening.haaa....nad was so traumatised when she accidentally touched pig skin leather in a shoe boutique,dat everytime she feel like scolding something or someone,the first word to come out from her mouth is "Babi".hahahahahaa.."Balik aku nak cuci tangan aku dgn clorox lah"hahahahaa...kelakar lah nad...

today i had SSP.suker kau my student Fatin came in 15 mins to end of session.nak maki ajek.but cannot la..anak org..n summore diana made my day.hehhzz...GIRL!!!i nak crita ni skarang..jgn mawrahh...kalau geram,u always have ur hairul.

4PM VOLUNTEERS..pls do note that the clubhouse is infested with cockroaches.haaa..y?coz 1 roach managed to crawl up diana's pants.hoooo...yesh it did n the damn thing refused to get out of her pants even after she tried hard.member dah terpekik pat situ..my god i never knew her shieking was dat loud la.n at last she just smacked the damn thing hard in her pants n it like finally got out.eeewwwww..i could c the stain on her jeans.*shakes head*

diana was like damn traumatised la.i brought her to the ladies n after dat we went out for some fresh air,since i had no student to teach.still she did not get over it.den she whine n whine saying that she can still feel the crawl n also where's her hairul.yah darr darrr...kahakhakahahaa...haiyoohhh..

luckily she was ok after dat la...we had a 3 hr workshop with guest speaker Mr Suryakenchana.it was ok laa...but i was like damn sleepy lorr...there goes 3/4 of my sunday.spent it at 4PM.after dat was shopping time again!!!!hahahaaha...met up with nad(again!)hehehee...then we proceeded to bugis to meet up with ryna darling who was accompanied by boy,hasni n mail pendek.they had their integration meet up at delifrance.so we just sat there lorr...i was like already hungry by then.luckily they ended fast.so me,nad,ryna,boy n hasni proceeded to Wismangan to eat.mail n his "gerl" went shopping.Hasni was like one org jakun when he was at Wismangan.gelak hati tgk keletah dia.ahahahhaaa...food was great,company was great too.glad to have introduced hasni to this place.he seems to like it :).nanti boleh lah bawak calon mertua gathering pat situ eh hasni.hehehehee....but i was quite upset la dat izzati didn't make it down.u could have called/sms-ed u know.lucky i called ur home,else we'd still have been waiting for u to have our dinner.:(

but anyway after dat ryna,boy n hasni left with their bikes...while me n nad of coz went shopping.heheheee...can't help it la.too nice too resist.it makes me happy too...so it's ok la.hehhzzz...

i tink i have blogged down those that i wanted to.hahahaa....so can stop typing la.gonna continue surfing.adios!

2005-08-06T05:22:00.000+08:00

psst psst~lemme tell u ppl a secret.i just got home at this hour!yes yesh i know it's 5.20am.where da heck i muz have been u guys must be asking?well...i had a 3hr karaoke session with my colleagues from my shift at partyworld.another nite that simply spells F-U-N again.

we sang our hearts away,laughed at each other.finally get to duet with daniel for that jackie cheung n regina song.can't remember wad the title was.sukerr member.nak kena ingat,dia tu suami org.kahakhahaka....dunch worry it was pure enjoyment with colleagues.hehhzz...we shud do these kinda outings more often.it shows how united we're though there are some that did not join us.

karachi was our next stop.for supper that is.hahahaa...after so much singing n laughing,we got hungry.so there were me,azreen,wee chieh,ken n of course daniel who had supper.had our own private chit chats n after dat left there at abt 4.15am.

before that,i was so stressed at work.really had a pile of workload to clear.n i know i need to settle them before we headed off to partyworld.i was practically struggling thru my mails n workflows.i didn't had much time coz earlier in the day i had a 2 n half hour team meeting with the boss.luckily i had the well deserved rest the previous nite.if not i think i would be stoning away.

i'm getting sleepier now.but i tink i'll wait till subuh prayers.den i head to bed.greatest news is i have to wake up early later.arrghh keennaaappaaaa?!sorry izzati n nad too but i tink i might have to cancel our meet up with ryna after ur RSP.i tink i'd be too shagged.c how la eh.hopefully i'm not that tired.

ok dats it.i'm brain dead already,but i'm still one happy babe. =)

2005-08-04T15:07:00.000+08:00

//edited 10.30pm

i am about to blog.but my tired and droopy eyes are not allowing me.but i feel like blogging.How?i really need sleep now.Zzzzz....

info for u guys.john little sale is on now,till 9 august.now i dunno wad to type already.my brain is malfunctioning.DAMN!

i can still feel the burn on my hand.
n now i'm feeling the burn in my heart.
it's not a good sign when ur brain is malfunctioning.
u'll just think bout unnecessary stuffs.
coz now i am.
shoo shoo stupid tots.
i'm going home now to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

last nite spelled F-U-N!!!!wooowww i seriously can't believe it.4 babes enjoying themselves to the max.n now i have a splitting headache.feels like a hangover man..ha ha ha...but HALOOOO!!!!!!i'm not dat kinda person to touch/drink alcohol ok.it's something i'll never do.i darely swear to dat!

the incident in the office was hilarious.kan korang2?rabak sey kena kejar sampai kat lift.thomas still sempat nak take photo.haiyoohh...i'm sure they're satisfied now.they betta be anyway.

magazine road.great place.great ambience.n it helps a lot when u have great company too.the music played a major role for me.it feels so goood when u drown urself in music.every single worry or fear that hits u will totally be gone.u'll never think of anything else but to just groove to the music.n in diana's words,"u got grilled"!something unexpected eh girls.i didn't c that coming either.sheesshh....dan yg paling unexpected is,i bumped into didi!damn..of all places.didi WAS one of the guys that i knew yrs back then when i was in TP n DK.oh well not my choice of guys coz he's one big time playboy.i have better choices at that point of time.but anyway i tot he wouldn't recognise me since it was long time back.boy was i surprised when he msg-ed me this morning.apa apaan lah.such ppl shud not be entertained.a waste of ur sms-es.

despite that n the burnts that me n Diana encountered...hahaha...we definitely enjoyed ourselves.a not-so-sinful pleasure.rite?hehhzz...it's not difficult to control ur limits yeah.if we can do it,so can u!*winks*

i need panadol now to kill the pain.n i need to start my work.

p/s: ahmad!!how to deal with ur fren ni?cuberr~ kasi idea sikit ek.

2005-08-03T00:48:00.000+08:00

*yawnz* i'm still at work.wad's new.so much things to clear..my workload is really piling up.i'm beginning to lose interest already.it's really demoralising when u know u can't finish up ur work on time.n to add it on there are ppl chasing u for it.eerkkk!!!

but it's ok.work is work.i still have my fair share of fun too.i just realise that i've been having lots of late nite outings.am having one more tonight n friday nite.weeeee!!!!i seriously can't wait for tonight's plans.gosh.it's been a while kan girls?hehhzz...

i swear i'm developing eyebags n dark rings under my eyes.muz do something abt it.sooo uglyyy..i need to sought help from my gerls!!koranggg...biler nak gi batam ni!!!i need the facial,spa n etc etc...i'm really tired out from work.i need to be pampered!!!lain la mcm korang kan dah ada partner masing2 nak pamper u all.sapela aku ni kan.the unwanted one,who works too much.khehekhekee....

oh gosh it's already 1am.i wanna pack up n go grab a cab.i need to wake up early later!!!i have my practical.damn!

2005-08-01T02:28:00.000+08:00

it's da most wonderful(n also sleepy) weekend i had.woow!!!i feel gooooood~!

i had big plans for friday nite.but i cancelled them coz i was still shagged from the damn late OT the night b4.decided to go for supper instead.had it planned initially with izzati n nad.al maklum la ni 2 kan jiran.so yeah plan was laid out nicely to enjoy the nite breeze coz i badly wanted to go to the beach.den tup meletup,ms izzati called me up n say that fir will fetch me from work.alangkah gembira nye beta.save duit cab.heee....apparently she,fir n a fren zul were from manifestasi.so i was thinking,y not?the more the merrier kan kan kan?tapi yg tak suspek langsung tu,izzati called me when they were at expo.tak ke kelam kabut dibuatnya aku ni.tak sempat nak gi toilet tau.

so i met up with them,n den we went to fetch nad.after dat off we zoom to ECP.biasalah pat dlm kereta i very da kecoh.CNN lah katakan.at least better den CIA kan izzati.wakakakaka...was telling them bout the prudential incident n whining bout work.ha ha ha...i pity those other 4 pairs of ears.we had dinner at lagoon n after dat decided to sit by the beach.we were of course entertained by Thai music,since we were sitting next to a Thai family.all of us had so much to share,so much to talk bout.tapi yg paling kelakarnye is dat,all of us anticipated Zul to talk.hahahaha...dis guy so shy larrr....alemak takleh carry.n once he starts talking,all of us will really pay attention la.dan yg cute nye ialah Zul ni tersangatlah blur.org bebual lain,nanti dia bebual lain.ape darrr....we all couldn't help but burst out laughing.n like i told all,his blurness is his cuteness.tul tak kengkawan?hehhzz...all 5 of us were so engrossed talking that we didn't realise that the time had hit 3am.so we decided to make our way back home lorr....fir sent every single one of us back home,n i reached home abt 4 plus.tenkiu horr daddy.ahkahkahkahkaa...:P

Saturday i woke up pretty late.ni izzati n nad tak kasi chance langsung org nak sambung tido.oh well i t was already 2pm by then.ape tak diorang bombard my phone.i practically dragged myself out of bed.i was really tired la coz thursday i had to OT,friday gi supper.sume kes balik wee in the morning.did the necessary stuffs at home n by 5pm i was ready to go out n meet Farra,my cousin.

it was one outing that i would say the best for me.Farra is my cousin from my dad's side n i dun exactly get to communicate with her.susahla nak explain here.those who are/were a part of me would know the reason.but anyway we had so much to talk about.we even planned to haf a special outing together.n i'm so anticipating it.i'm glad that ties with Farra especially is not broken.we have so much in common.:)so much was told n discovered during our dinner at Siam Kitchen.similarites that never we tot would be damn coincidental.heee...

we proceeded to esplanade after dinner to view the fireworks.my god!!!it was such a spectacular view.i was damn amazed la.without realising,i was jumping in excitement,like a small kid,when the fireworks started.it's been a while..it was damn beautiful.i wish it lasted longer.the memories will linger in my tots for now.made my way back after dat coz i already promise diana for another session of supper.yeayness!!with all the dag dig dugs at home,i finally met up with diana slightly after midnite.we had to send her 'pakcik' home first which was at AMK.ha ha..i really pity him.belum ape2 dah kena dgn mulut laser lynn.thank god he neva took it to heart.sorry eh diana kalau i terguris kan hati ur loverboy.kahakhakaha....

den this miang girl so needed the toilet la.sampai tersasar jln kau.baik2 nak pegi bedok to fetch nad,we ended up at Toa Payoh.frantically went around the town centre to search for a toilet.n she finally got one at long john silver's which was in the midst of closing shop.hahahaa...kelakar lah tu.so to cut the story short,we finally picked nad up abt 1am n off to simpang for supper.had the most heartiest supper with naddy i tell u.oh well it was just the urge to eat.lepak at simpang til abt 2am n all 3 gatal girls tot y not lepak at ECP.yes again!!!but this time it was at marine cove area.lepak2,had our girls talk..kehkehkeee...n without realising the time again,it showed nearly to 4am.

i was so semangat la...wanted to test drive diana's car.haha..i THOUGHT that from marine cove it would still be quite a distance before entering ECP so i tot okla can lah...diana pun on ajek.n yes i did get into the driver's seat.harap maklum ek,i still dun have my license as yet.so dgn penuh semangat nye lin drove off la kan.sekali bila dah kluar dari carpark jek,jeng jeng jeng...it was gonna lead to ECP!!tak ke panic aku ni.diana asked whether i was confident to drive on the ECP,i nodded la tot i could make it.ok fine...i still went off.n apparently these girls said i was too slow driving on the expressway.like HALOOOOO i'm still a learner driver tau!but takper,i increased my speed.ah amek kau ubat.i totally forgot that we had to send nad first.so i tot go by the normal way to my place.part2 kat junction then it daunted on me that we had to head to bedok.i panicked i tell u n know wad i did,i swerved the car into the left lane.hahahahahaaa...kecut siak perut diorang.dah terpekik2 pat dlm kereta tu..RASAKAN KORANG!!cakap aku lembab kan.dat was damn hilarious.n i finally decided that NO i should not drive anymore.we stopped by the side n changed driver.khakahakhahaaa...one hell of an experience i tell u.

Lesson learnt:(1)auto n manual car is damn different la.so kekok sia...
(2)test drive the car first a few rounds before heading to the expressway or at least a road.
(3)dun drive something ur not familiar with when ur still uncertified.
(4)and lastly,dun mess with a hell driver.

amecam korang?nak kena lagi?hahahaa...confirm badi kan.PADAN MUKA.nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh.:P pressure skejap aku bila korang cakap i too slow.but it was fun wasn't it.it was an enjoyable nite.definitely!!diana,thanx for the encouragement ek regarding the driving.i knew i made u takut.but dun worry in time to come,i'll master the technique of driving safely.heee...

n today,sumpah i couldn't wake up for SSP.so sleeeppyy.but yet again i dragged myself out of bed.SSP was fun.could see myself getting along better with the sec2 kids.n today i had to cover 4 kids ek.this syai neber come.basketball betul.but okla i managed.*smiles* n after SSP me,diana n zak went shopping at PS.skejap jek la coz we were really really tired.unfortunately,i didn't get wad i wanted.damn!well there's always the next weekend.

let's side track a bit from the great weekend that i had.i'm thankful that i'm finally able to refrain myself from my daily habit nowadays.it's a gd start n frens have been giving me their fullest support.i'm pretty sure i'm able to kick the habit quite soon.i'm so proud of myself.with that,hopefully i will be able to fulfill wad i plan to do next yr.those who know,just shut up ok.ni antara2 kita.thankz eh.n i tink it's time also to start disciplining myself.it's for my own good la.i know i can do it!yes i can.

la la la la la la laa...i'm so full of updates today.n i'm one happy babe.aww man i really need sleep now.i'm gonna head to bed shortly.but before that i still wanna ogle n admire a particular photo first.heeee...who knows it could be brought over as sweet dreams in my sleep?ok enuff there.tot of posting up photos,but i'll do that another timee ok darlings.

n oh btw ryna,ahmad n helmy : i miss you people!let's meet up soon.

Dadaaaa *muacks*

2005-07-29T03:35:00.000+08:00

waarrgghhhh!!!!it's already 3.30am & i'm still slogging at work.i am so freaking tired n sleeeppyyy....*yawnz* so much things to do yet so little time.

juliana is on medical leave.n me being her backup,i have to cover so much things for her.so frustrating ok!!!!she went on mc n i have so much to do for her.i can't believe that i actually need to finish up her workflow for her.even those that was not done weeks back.geram nyee.....n tomorrow wee chieh is on leave aso.that chap is going to bkk.n me aso being the back up have to cover for him horr...n my ms azreen is on leave aso tomm.i'm so alone...~Lonelyyy....kehkehkee...

these wks have been quite hectic.especially after me going on medical leave for 2 days last wk.everyday there will be issues to settle.i tink i shud demand for a pay increase.waitt a minute....dats not exactly a bad idea,kan kan kan?

k la enuff bout work eh.if i continue whining,i tell u tak habissss!!!let's talk bout something else shall we...

it feels great to be on the roads again.hahahaha...kekok seyy dah lama tak drive.n as always ms lynn is always late for her practicals.lucky my instructor got used to me.waa sayang samaa luu la cik bani.serious man,i could feel the adrenaline rush in me when i was driving.nak speed ajek lynn.cik bani say i drive like pro...cey cey ceyyy...kembang jap lah kan.tak slalu org puji tau tau tauu...

talked to mum a few days back.she asked me bout him.mum posed this qn,interesting i tell u.

Mum:Do you hate him for leaving you?
Me:*immediate response* No.
Mum:And y is dat?
Me:Maybe it's really not meant to be n i could never learn to hate him.i went thru so much with him.I can't possibly hate someone that i love so much rite?N also i grew stronger from this relationship.
Mum:I'm proud of you Nur.U conceal ur sadness well enuff not to affect the ppl around u.But i can c it thru ur eyes.I'm ur mum remember?

She smiled n hugged me tight.I was touched.All these yrs as a child,i conceal a lot of my personal matters from my parents.Now i'm slowly trying to open up to them,especially mum.N i thank god she's quite open with them.*smiles*

oh no!!it's already 4.10am.i tink i wanna go home already.i still need to work later.can i not work? :( but it's ok.i'm anticipating the weekends...can't wait to meet up with Farra,my cousin.it's been a while.woohooo!!!

Till my next update!

2005-07-24T23:45:00.000+08:00

E.T is one classic show that will never fail to bring me to tears upon watching.it's just so sad especially the part where E.T was dying and they had to part.i remembered crying in the cinema when i went to watch it a few yrs back.n today my mum spotted me crying silently at the corner of the living room.he he he...

n btw my dear readers,pls disregard the last post.i tink i was mentally unstable at that point of time.ha ha...but it sure felt good letting it out.i needed that.i felt much happier when i attended daniel's wedding.The solemnization at Aloha resort went pretty well.He was a handsome groom n his wife,Iris,was a beautiful bride.The solemnization was one of the moments that truly touched me in many ways.It was one of the moments that must have meant a lot for both of them.when they said i do to each other,i felt so happy for them.i was proud of daniel as he is ready to carry the reponsibility as a husband. :)

today's SSP lesson was ok la.too bad la i had to meet my parents after the session.kalau tak boleh join lepak2 with wyna,diana,saiful n darius.i'm getting a bit uptight with 4PM's programs for these upcoming months.so much meetings n paperwork to do,exam papers to set.whoaaaa!!!i need real time management now.

just need to insert this in.... it satisfies me to have been able to finally smile at you,like how we used to,today.

2005-07-23T13:54:00.000+08:00

i was abt to blog abt da wonderful yesterday i had when suddenly a show caught my attention.

i watched thru it.
i was reminded of him.
i tot of him.
i actually called out his name.
i broke down.
i cried non stop.

i should stop being sappy.Lynn,ur so weak.fancy u looking back on a closed chapter.shame on u!
*breathe in & breathe out*

it's a wonder how a man who once made u felt like as if u were on cloud nine,once promised u happiness in a perfect world,once gave u that love n secure feeling upon looking into his eyes,once let u had da feel n imagining of how living together would be,once made you treasure him even more with every passing day,has totally poofed out of ur life just like that.look at the words in bold.ONCE it spelt.

it's difficult when u've been hurt real bad.
i was.
i still am.

arrghh dis is not the real me.y am i even blogging this down?i'm a tough cookie remember.
i tink it must be the medications.
STOP it Lynn.for now.

2005-07-21T03:00:00.000+08:00

time is 3am.damn!i've been tossing n turning in bed since 12.15am do u know that n yet i can't get to sleep.this is so frustrating n dat's y i'm blogging.

my fever's still fluctuating.god..i've never had fever this long.it has dragged since sunday.n to add on to it,now i'm having flu!!!!my colleagues have been telling me to rest at home.but i just can't.my mind will just wander around if i keep doing nothing.i'd rather that not happen.at least work will keep my mind off things.

my body n immune system is getting rather weak.n the aircon at work is killing me definitely.but the adorable boy's sweater is keeping me warm every single minute in the office.*winks*.Thanx ahmad!Ni baru nama members kan.jgn Ms Vivi Erina kita jealous sudah.khakhakhakha....

i am suddenly feeling hungry.but my appetite is supressed.i tink i better try catch some sleep now.i need to wake up early later.

2005-07-18T18:21:00.000+08:00

fever @ 39.4 degree celscius.

bones aching.

suspected ________.

*touchwood*

seeing one going thru it was enough.go figure.

2005-07-16T12:50:00.000+08:00

it's time for an update n i must tell u first that this post is gonna have a mixture of emotions in it.Ready?ok go....

i had a superb nite yesterday.bowling session with colleagues from my shift.definitely a stress reliever.pheeww....of course we girls made a fool out of ourselves looking at the way we bowl.n da best thing was i slipped on the lane.yah yah...all of dem laughed out loud.but who cares.i had my fair share of fun.n during this bowling session also,i got to know one of my new colleagues a bit better.Karen Deanne is her name n she was an ex SQ girl.very friendly n humble lady indeed.so after bowling,me,daniel n karen went off for late supper at Karachi.(U should have joined us in the car Azreen)We sat there till abt 4am.I almost died when i saw the time.ha ha...

Yesterday also reminded me of the nite i had with the girls the previous friday.That was hell i tell u.it was so muchh fun.last weekend was one of the best weekends i ever had.n i'm looking forward to a great one too this wk.It's karaoke session next wk!Anyone wanna come along?he he...

So much for the weekends.Now lemme blog down bout my weekdays which was like a ride on a rollercoaster.

Monday was my TP.Da day dat i was waiting for all these while.so much anticipation.Unfortunately it wasn't my luck to have passed the courses in the circuit.Such a waste,especially when the tester says that u were perfect on the road.but it's ok.i wasn't that upset over it.Y?cause nad was such a sweetie to have come over to CDC to give me a surprise.yeps!she was there to give me moral support. n after dat,ryna accompanied me in town till night time. :) thank you girls.

Tuesday till Thursday were the days that really brought me down.So many thoughts playing around in my mind.Things that were associated with my past relationship.On how i was there for him when he was hospitalized,especially dat particular nite where he expressed it all.Of those times that i would accompany him study for his exams after i finish working at 11pm.On how he used to say that his parents never blame his friends for wadever mistakes that is associated with him.N so many others including the pleasant n unpleasant ones.i really wondered y all these came back to my mind.I'm really affected n still am.Maybe it's hard to let go.N it's even harder when u see it with ur own eyes n presume he has moved on fast enough with another girl.I guess all these muz be one of those tests that god still want me to go thru.i'm more than willing to accept it.oh well if he really has interest in that someone new,i wish him all the best.

Graduation was a teary one.Close friends would understand y.But i was glad to have re-united with my frens.I worked hard for this damn diploma.i waited so long for it.N it's finally in my arms.I'm an official graduate of Temasek Polytechnic's Diploma in Mechatronics,along with the rest!This is one achievement i'm proud of.I have done my parents proud at least.

On a slightly happier note,it's a miracle how a part of ur past still give u flutters.Weird ain't it,but it's definitely true.Nad could see it coming n so does izzati.ha ha...i shall seal the details for now.

dis is definitely a long post n like i said filled with a mixture of emotions.i'm looking forward to tonight for a family dinner at Secret Recipe.yeay!!Dad wanna celebrate my achievement in getting a diploma.Thank You Ayah.I Love You,Ibu,Hisham & Syafiq. <3

2005-07-08T03:20:00.000+08:00

everytime i watch DIA,this show will never fail to make me shed tears.n it doesn't help much either when ur watching it alone in the wee morning.somehow after the show ends,it will make me ponder n ponder about a lot of things.This might sound cliche but i do tink i can relate to the storyline!

true i've not stepped into marriage life.but looking at all the ups n downs of post n pre marriages have similarities to wad i experience in relationships.one moment it could be so fine,but at the next moment it all crashes.even the slightest wrong move could affect u in many ways.i've always tot to myself,how am i going to start on marriage life when i've never succeeded in building lasting relationships.

at times i wish i could be like Nadia.one of the main characters of this show.she is a woman of strong will power n full of independence.i envy her for being wad she is.it's never easy to be a divorcee bringing up one child.n her life is neverending filled with unnecessary gossips.to think she could bear with all that.she is a woman of patience too.maybe i shall use her character as a boost for me to further improve myself.

suddenly i'm feeling so down. :(

i tink i've been talking too much n i've been blogging quite a lot lately.
maybe it's time for me to have reserve time to myself n shut out from the outside world for a moment.

time is 3.30am.i need sleep.

Goodbye world!

2005-07-07T17:42:00.000+08:00

//edited at 10.10pm

today was our feel generous day.again being me,azreen n wee chieh.we treated the whole shift scrumptious dinner!well it's not everyday ain't it.he he..after my practical,i met wee chieh at NTUC bedok to get the necessary stuffs.lucky that guy follow.if not i dunno how to carry all those heavy stuffs.

work is shit.the workload is getting unbearable by day.oh well i guess this is part n parcel of working life.who says the procurement line is easy.but it's ok.at least during dinner we get to enjoy n relax.managed to cover another 3 episodes of Ah My Goddess,which is the japanese anime.best tau.

had a conference call at 8pm with the peeps from China,US and Europe.i hate conference calls because i'll end up so blur.typical me.ha ha...anyway after dat,i joined the rest of my babes at level 4.we did the unexpected.only meant for 21 n above to know.ka ka..let's not probe into the details,shall we.

i'm anticipating to go home!coz i wanna catch the last episode of DIA.ok ya i'll be a bit outdated.but who cares at least i get to watch it on the same day itself.it's only 10.30pm now.another half an hour to go,n *poof* i'm outta here.

it's gonna be a long day tomorrow.2 hours of practical n a pile of emails n workflows to attend to at work.better get going now.cheerios!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aku tak mengerti ... apa yang kurasa,
Rindu yang tak pernah ... begitu hebatnya
Aku mencintaimu lebih dari yang kau tahu ...
Meski kau tak akan pernah tahu

Aku persembahkan ... hidupku untukmu,
Telah kurelakan ... hatiku padamu,
Namun kau masih bisu ... diam seribu bahasa
Dan hati kecilku bicara ...

Baru kusadari ...
Cintaku bertepuk sebelah tangan
Kau buat remuk seluruh hatiku ...

Semoga waktu akan mengilhami sisi hatimu yang beku,
Semoga akan datang keajaiban, hingga akhirnya kaupun mau

Aku mencintaimu
Lebih dari yang kau tahu ...
Meski kau tak kan pernah tahu ...

Baru kusadari ...
Cintaku bertepuk sebelah tangan
Kau buat remuk seluruh hatiku ...

~Pupus,Dewa~

i'm so reminded of u now.this song that u use to hum n make fun of with the change of lyrics.
it's one of those times.the times that i would laugh at ur lameness.*am actually smiling at the tot of it now* -sighz-
too much listening to malay songs already.

2005-07-06T23:56:00.000+08:00

dinner was hilarious just now!hungry humans are clumsy people.ka ka...

we were so excited on eating pasta.we meaning me,azreen n wee chieh.had all the plates laid out on the table,fettucini to be preheat.n so our ms azreen was knocking the bottle of spaghetti sauce to serve.as she opened the bottle cap,i could c the spaghetti sauce oozing out not from the opening of the bottle,BUT in the middle of it.there was a hole which meant that part of the bottle cracked.n so the sauce spilled all over.from the bowl to the table n to the carpetted floor.we just had to burst out laughing looking at the mess we created.n so slowly we cleaned up the place before we could enjoy our pasta.luckily the balance of sauce that spilled into the bowl was enough for 3 of us.

n my dear wee chieh got us hooked to his japanese anime.damn it.i didn't know japanese cartoons are fun to watch.managed to cover 3 episodes today.n more to come tomorrow.weeeeee!!!

tomorrow is the last day for me to hold the title as being the youngest in my shift.by friday i will have to pass on my title to a new staff.she's 19 OK!!!no more pamperings.how sad.c now who want to pamper me?:(

n oh btw,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY EFNI YULIANA!!!

belum terlambat nak wish lagi pat blog.ke ke...

2005-07-05T18:17:00.000+08:00

I've always believed in putting my innermost self & interest when i decide to commit in something that i do.After much thinking and ponderings,i realise that this is the most important factor that keeps me going.I used to think that failures will bring me down.But as i look upon the journey of my life of 22yrs,i soon began to see that it was all these failures that bring me to where i am now.To where i stand.I'm beginning to take the bright side of failures that occur in me. :)

With regards to my previous post,pls do take note that i'm not bringing him down.i just had to pen down wad i felt in me.i couldn't let it bottle up coz i'll know i wun be able to take it.So azhar,if u had felt that way,i would truly apologise.But remember,u did say that i could say anything i want to n u wun blame me for it.

I'm calm n composed now.I truly thank god for giving me dat serenity in such a short period of time.I'm taking the situation the way it is.I remember a fren telling me,"Life is unfair,but at times u need to learn how to let go of the person u love most."n yes i'm holding on to that.thank you very nice~.

I dun deny that at times,my mind will be clouded with fond memories of us.To a certain extent it does affect me in a way or another.But i'll take all that in stride.The past is history.Let memories be the ones filling the gaping hole in my heart.

Somehow i'm glad that i'm working now coz it really takes up a lot of my time n it prevents me from thinking of the negative effects of our break up.Not forgetting my friends n colleagues who have been my backbone.Yes fir,i am a fighter and yes i am a small girl with a big heart.

I'm hoping to open a new chapter of my life pretty soon.No,not a chapter with someone new.Instead a new chapter with goals that have been laid out.It's not the time to jump into another relationship.I have many things to achieve as yet.N one of them is to get myself a bit closer to god.

Life is short.N therefore i dun see a need to instill hatred btwn each other.

Maybe we weren't meant for each other now.But if it's fated that we will be together in time to come,i welcome it with open arms.Provided both of us are willing to commit n stay true to each other.For now,i'll take things at a time.

To love is to hurt.

2005-07-04T18:07:00.000+08:00

it's over.

2 yrs of being with u has diminished.it's already a chapter closed.i never knew that the time i gave u to think over stuffs would lead to this.i was disappointed.it's easy for u to say that this is the end.breaking up over the sms.simple isn't it?for goodness sake,ur a guy!can't u face me n tell me?

u told me,ur parents are against our relationship.frankly i find it hard to believe,knowing how well ur family is.i WAS tempted to call ur mum n clarify things with her.i was near 100% to doing it.But as i thought again,i shud just let it go.n i find it totally ridiculous when i received this sms from u,"I'm sorry...This is the end...I can't meet u...This is a promise i made to my mum..."

I seriously dun understand.You used to tell me,u believed in a thing called love.But y not uphold it?Not work on it?Yes i do understand that a relationship will not work without blessings from our parents.But in this case,i find it so unbelievable.I can darely say i know how ur family "works".i shall not bring up any instances here.I am still in a state of confusion.Not knowing what n who to believe.

I hate myself for being naive,giving u those chances.When all these while,i've been crying n dwelling over issues that has affected me in many ways.I tot that with me trying to change my attitude to suit u the best would help.But in the end it backfired.i even received the cold treatment from u.u just chose to ignore me.even worse,u told me much later that we shud just be friends if i wanted u to treat me nicely.treat me nicely like how u treat ur friends.wad was dat suppose to mean?isn't that plain selfishness?

wasn't the decision of mine to forget ur totally unexpected past good enough to bring our relationship closer?y did u have to add on to it with ur cold treatment which eventually lead to our break up?I wouldn't be much affected if before this,u had treated me good but due to ur parents not liking us being together,we HAVE to break up.i just felt like as if all these has been pre-planned.just look at da flow of the process of breaking up.

so much to say,yet so much censorship in myself.

azhar,if ur reading this,i just wanna tell u that i'm not blaming ur parents at all.i know what actual reasons lead to this break up.

Gone are those promises that we used to vow upon.
Gone are those moments that we had.
Gone are those kisses n hugs that we shared.

i'm not dissing u off.i wanted to meet up and talk with u,but u refused.dis is the only way to let things out in me.
i accept this break up as it is.As upset as i can be,i'm moving on.

"Dreams aren't what they used to be"

2005-07-01T22:47:00.000+08:00

i'm having a spinning headache.i feel like vomitting.i want to go home!!!!!!!!!!!

n i have to wake up damn early tommorrow for practical.even my weekend is not spared.
i swear i'm gonna fall sick pretty soon.

heck it.i'm packing up now.

i miss you :(

2005-07-01T15:09:00.000+08:00

before i start my actual work,i think it's better i blog first.it's been some time anyway.

life's been quite mundane lately.i'm so caught up with work n my practicals dat i dun even have time to shop.something which i have been wanting to do eversince i got my pay,but not given the chance to.with my TP coming up in less than 2 weeks,i've been asked by my instructor to attend practicals almost every single day.i'm quite tensed actually waiting for the day itself because my confidence level has dropped drastically.

work has been hell i tell u.with so much issues coming up,i'm getting much frustrated each day.but i thank god i have fellow colleagues that are here to enlighten the working environment.n it helps being the youngest in this shift.i feel pampered.he he...

i'm missing so many people right now.i miss izzati,ryna,ahmad,nad,helmy,diana n of course azhar.btw ryna,if ur reading this thank u for the sms the other day.it touched me deep deep.n izzati,thank you for the self made card.though it's still with u.ha ha...sweets.

k better start doing my pile of work now.i aim to complete all 48 emails ,43 workflows and the balance of invoice issues by today,so that i can have a peaceful weekend.wish me luck!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aku masih setia
Namun kesabaranku ada batasnya
Mungkin jua kerna aku masih menyintai
Bukan ku menyalahkan
Hanya sekadar ingin mengingatkanmu
Agar cinta ini kembali bahagia

Semakin kusut kurasai
Hari berganti hari
Engkau terus membisu
Egomu makin membelenggu
Apakah aku yang keliru
Bingung dikaburi cemburu
Atau sememangnya diriku
Sebenarnya sebegitu

Aku bukan boneka
Yang bisa kau lakukan semahunya
Namun cinta ini ku pertahankan kerana
Aku masih setia
Di sudut hatiku masih percaya
Dikau kan kembali
Seperti semula

~aku masih setia,dia fadila~

2005-06-25T23:34:00.000+08:00

tiada kata yg dapat mencerminkan perasaan aku kali ini.
perkara yg sebenar sudah diketahui.
aku dibelenggu kekalutan dan kebingungan.

aku bertanya diriku sendiri,apakah salahku.
apakah dosaku terhadapnya.
tuhan,kenapa kau berikan aku cabaran yg cukup menduga keimanan serta keteguhan hatiku?

di saat genting ini,aku bermohon kpdmu tuhan.
berikan aku kekuatan.
tenangilah jiwaku untuk menempuhi semua ini.

aku redha dgn semua yg terjadi.
aku anggap itu semua masa lalu yg silam.
aku rela melupakan segalanya.

walaupun hati cukup terluka,
walaupun parut ini masih berdarah,
aku bersedia menanggungnya.

kasihku tetap tidak akan aku belah bagikan
kasihku masih tetap untukmu.
harapanku hanya satu,
pertimbangkanlah dgn sewajarnya.
jgn biarkan diriku kecewa lagi.

2005-06-23T20:46:00.000+08:00

the wait did not come to a waste.it was worth all the pain and temptations.

THANK YOU!to u...

just when i tot things would change,u still stood by me.
just when i tot it was gonna be over,u kept me going on.
u kept us alive.
thank you for the initiative.
though it might seem small,it meant alot to me.

u boosted my confidence to go on n strive in life.
i choose to believe you.

i heart you.