Saturday, June 25, 2005
tiada kata yg dapat mencerminkan perasaan aku kali ini.
perkara yg sebenar sudah diketahui.
aku dibelenggu kekalutan dan kebingungan.
aku bertanya diriku sendiri,apakah salahku.
apakah dosaku terhadapnya.
tuhan,kenapa kau berikan aku cabaran yg cukup menduga keimanan serta keteguhan hatiku?
di saat genting ini,aku bermohon kpdmu tuhan.
berikan aku kekuatan.
tenangilah jiwaku untuk menempuhi semua ini.
aku redha dgn semua yg terjadi.
aku anggap itu semua masa lalu yg silam.
aku rela melupakan segalanya.
walaupun hati cukup terluka,
walaupun parut ini masih berdarah,
aku bersedia menanggungnya.
kasihku tetap tidak akan aku belah bagikan
kasihku masih tetap untukmu.
harapanku hanya satu,
pertimbangkanlah dgn sewajarnya.
jgn biarkan diriku kecewa lagi.
Lynn's Penny For Tots
at 11:34 PM
Thursday, June 23, 2005
the wait did not come to a waste.it was worth all the pain and temptations.
THANK YOU!to u...
just when i tot things would change,u still stood by me.
just when i tot it was gonna be over,u kept me going on.
u kept us alive.
thank you for the initiative.
though it might seem small,it meant alot to me.
u boosted my confidence to go on n strive in life.
i choose to believe you.
i heart you.
Lynn's Penny For Tots
at 8:46 PM
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
it's already Tuesday.N i have so much junk to clear.I officially lost the drive to do work.Oh wait!make that since a wk ago.
now as i'm typing this entry,at the same time i'm on a conference call with a personnel in Netherlands.ka ka ka...so much for paying attention.practically bored.
yesterday nite,i had some private moments with my mum.something that i appreciate as it's quite rare.it doesn't help much when i'm working in such an odd shift.i was truly touched that mum waited up for me to reach home,so as to have our daughter-mum bonding.
We had abt an hr of chat.Talked about everything under the sun.or more like the moon.ha ha ha...But there was one particular topic that really caught my attention.
Mum was telling me bout happenings in the family.Not that i was unaware of them but let's just say i choose to ignore coz i deem them as irrelevant to me.But anyway mum mentioned to me abt the bickers n squabbles that she had with my dad.all those unnecessary disagreements.(now do u understand y i deem them as irrelevant?)i envy my mum coz she's very patient with my dad.Knowing how much my dad will try to stand up for himself.ha ha ha.Mum can easily dismiss them off her mind.she knows how to calm the situation down.n later surprisingly my dad will give in to her at the same time.
now i really envy them both.they know how to communicate with each other n in turn this saves their marriage from unnecesary issues.i'm pretty sure it's not easy to maintain a marriage for 22 yrs.can i be like u mum?i'm actually trying n still on the route to improvement.oh well i dun even know if god allows me to actually have a feel of marriage life.ah who cares.it's still too early to think bout that.
all i know is i'm still waiting......
i'll be loving you forever
deep inside my heart
you'll leave me never
even if you took my heart
and tore it apart
i would love you still...forever
Lynn's Penny For Tots
at 7:42 PM
Monday, June 20, 2005
Weekends were crap.Gave Gentarasa & SSP campfire a miss.i was still unwell & just decided to waste the weekends at home.
I did a lot of reflections during the weekends.
Reflections of my own life.
N today's medical check up finally made me realise a fact that i can't run away from.A fact that stands as the main pillar to support my reflections.
LIFE IS DEFINITELY SHORT.
this is something that i have to bear in mind.n with that i know that i should make full use of the life i'm given rite now.i may never know if i may be gone the next moment.gone to the other world.
it's sad to say this but i'm not like any average girl out there.go figure.
all i know now is i'm not gonna let my life be ruined with unhappiness.i shall live it my way n make sure it will end the way i want it to be.i dun wish to hope for a miracle.
for all i know,HOPE IS A DANGEROUS THING.
Lynn's Penny For Tots
at 3:31 PM
Thursday, June 16, 2005
cramps are killing me.
No choice but to work today.I've been taking so much leaves.My boss muz be pissed getting an employee like me.haakZ!oh well who cares.i'm entitled to them.
the one up there heard my prayers. =)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My skin is like a map, of where my heart has been
And I can't hide the marks, but it's not a negative thing
So I lay down my guard, drop my defences, down by my clothes
I'm learning to fall, with no safety net, to cushion the blow
I bruise easily, so be gentle when you handle me
There's a mark you leave, like a love heart carved on a tree
I bruise easily, can't scratch the surface without moving me
Underneath I bruise easily, I bruise easily
I found your finger prints on a glass of wine
Do you know your leaving them all over this heart of mine too
If I never take this leap of faith I'll never know
So I'm learning to fall with no safety net to cushion the blow
I bruise easily, so be gentle when you handle me
There's a mark you leave, like a love heart carved on a tree
I bruise easily, can't scratch the surface without moving me
Underneath I bruise easily, I bruise easily
Anyone who, can touch you, can hurt you, or heal you
Anyone who, can reach you, can love you, or leave you
So be gentle
So be gentle
So be gentle
So be gentle
I bruise easily, so be gentle when you handle me
There's a mark you leave, like a love heart carved on a tree
I bruise easily, can't scratch the surface without moving me
Underneath I bruise easily, I bruise easily
I bruise easily, so be gentle when you handle me
There's a mark you leave, like a love heart carved on a tree
I bruise easily, can't scratch the surface without moving me
Underneath I bruise easily, I bruise easily
I bruise easily
I bruise easily
~I Bruse Easily,Natasha Bedingfield~
Lynn's Penny For Tots
at 3:34 PM
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
at home.feeling shitty.
................................................................
it's hard being at home.constantly being asked if there's anything wrong.do i have any problem.
dun ask can?i dun feel like talking bout it..
BEBAN!BEBAN!BEBAN!
Lynn's Penny For Tots
at 6:14 PM
Sometimes,feelings are better expressed in the form of a song.Here goes:
I cry myself to sleep again tonight
'Cause I cannot hold you tight.
I wish I could see you again tomorrow
To take all this sorrow
Sorrow, I'm hollow
When I touch you
Can you feel It
When I need you
Can you give it
When I look in your eyes
Can you see me
When I fall
Will you catch me, catch me, catch me
Misery
Is what I feel
When you're not around
So I can't heal
Misery
Is what I feel
Is what I feel
These tears on my face
Are for you
I wish that I could hold you
Touch you, feel you
My heart is bleeding
Can't you see
I wish that you could hold me
Touch me, feel me
When I touch you
Can you feel It
When I need you
Can you give it
When I look in your eyes
Can you see me
When I fall
Will you catch me, catch me, catch me
Misery
Is what I feel
When you're not around
So I can't heal
Misery
Is what I feel
Is what I feel
~Misery,The Moffatts~
Lynn's Penny For Tots
at 3:25 PM
Monday, June 13, 2005
it was a great outing with the lovely ladies.
after so long,we finally managed to meet up and haf our share of fun.orchard was our destination.
dis outing definitely was something we look forward to though we communicate a lot thru phone calls,sms-es n msn chats.meeting up juz heals away all the perasaan rindu.ha ha ha.n now i'm beginning to miss them.oh yesh went out with ahmad too yesterday.dat adorable boy of mine.i'm mishing him too.
i miss the bf badly!he's away in ubin for a recce trip.come back quick!i've not heard from u since yesterday.u difficult tau no hp.ggrrr!!!!!nonetheless i still heart u.
gonna end this post with pics of me plus the lovely ladies,my adorable boy n the bf.the people who fills up my empty heart with joy.
Lynn's Penny For Tots
at 12:57 AM
Sunday, June 12, 2005
i'm disappointed...extremely upset
a general qn thrown to all.wad is ur view on the role of a volunteer?
a volunteer is someone whom get involves in the organization's programs.being updated of the upcoming programs n gets going in them.
but what if the volunteer is not being updated?even on the slightest info.are they being deemed as inactive volunteers?it's sad to know that only a certain ppl in the organization are being updated on recent n upcoming programs.n it does not happen once only.it's disappointing.there are many volunteers out there who're keen to work in programs of the organization,but yet no news has been spread around.volunteers who're keen to work n feel as part of the organization's family.
i know there might be a certain number which will be unable to make it for some of the programs.but does it harm to at least inform?what happened to the earlier batch of volunteers?have they been forgotten?have u all forgotten that the new batch will not be possible if not for the earlier ones who had put in their contribution.
a whole lot has changed.now i finally understand.
it's ok.i believe in karma.
WAD GOES AROUND COMES AROUND.
DO SOMETHING!
Lynn's Penny For Tots
at 12:18 AM
Friday, June 10, 2005
it's my dinner break n i swear i'm really really drowsy n sleepy now.not taking my dinner either coz am not feeling hungry.today like really mendak.i have so much work yet am not working on it.
plain laziness.
wads there to share?hmmm..lemme think.da past days have been fantastic without any doubt.
no worries.
no bickers.
plenty of understanding.
plenty of sweetness.
treasured quality time.
changi village
parkway parade
beach road
compass point
dan yg paling penting........I GOT OVER MY PHOBIA OF DRIVING!
am meeting the bf again later after work.mak's place maybe?
Lynn's Penny For Tots
at 7:07 PM
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
today has to be one of the worst practicals i had.
i couldn't even do a simple side parking.
i nearly hit a car which was having test.
as a result of it,my instructor got damn furious with me.
to the driver who was on test,i'm so sorry i never planned to ruin ur test.
i hope u managed to pass.
to my instructor,i'm sorry for makin u furious.it was never intentional.
haizz...y bother?they will not even read this.
really not my day today.i had a major loss of concentration.
know wad?maybe i shud not have attended my practical juz now.
oh well...wad's done cannot be undone. :(
i'm sorry.
Lynn's Penny For Tots
at 3:26 PM
Monday, June 06, 2005
god i am so bored at work now!msn is not functioning.n i really hate to use the e-messenger.
I'm experiencing the Monday Blues.*yawnz*
really not in the mood to work.been pretty much slacking since the start of the day.
let's talk bout something else,shall we.HaakZ!!
my TP is gonna be in a mth's time.i tell u time flies really fast.i felt like as if i just started my practical with Cik Bani.pretty much covered everything already.truth to be told,i'm not dat confident.but den again,i badly wanna pass my driving test n officially hold a license.That would be one of the most proud achievements in my entire life.I know it's impossible to own my own car for now,but i'm planning to have one by the age of 24!amecam?possible tak?oh well when there's a will,there's a way.am gonna work on for it. :)
n oh yah...my graduation is in a mth's time too!!!i'm really excited.initally was not planning to go,but when i tink again,it's only once i graduate from poly.gonna get a nice wear for the graduation.make it a pair maybe?hahahahaa....dear's graduating on the same day too.n there's a 99% chance that we'll be taking our diploma on stage right after another.which means,after i go on stage,he will be next immediately.cool rite!ha ha ha...
k i better get back to work.before i'm being screamed at.
Lynn's Penny For Tots
at 9:36 PM
Sunday, June 05, 2005
I muz say this has been one of the weeks close to being Perfect!Though there were hiccups along the way,the week still went on great!never felt this contented before.
unleashed with dear
madagascar with nad
girls nite out with the geng of 6
plus i had almost the whole week to spend with dear
how i wished all the fun never ended.but it's ok the fond memories are kept in me.
am gonna get a bit mushy here.so if u guys are unable to stand such content,kindly exit!
Dear,
How can i thank you for being uber understanding & lenient towards me.For giving me the "green lite" to do wad i desire,though deep inside us we know it's kinda not rite.For not restricting me in wadever i do especially my company of friends.For making time to be with me.It proves that knowing u all these years,has never been a waste.n maybe wad happened btwn us before this might haf a hidden meaning behind it.
Both of us can never be perfect for each other,dat i realise.but i do know that if we are able to work on our flaws & imperfections together,nothing will bring us down ever again.We really have a long journey to explore.a journey which will be full of unexpected surprises n temptations.a journey which could possibly crumble our relationship in the blink of an eye.But dun u worry dear.i have faith in u & us.we've gone thru dis before & learnt from our mistakes.
Guide me along this challenging path that we're taking now.Slowly we will reach the end of the path hand in hand if we trust each other.Remember this phrase u told me,"i believe in a thing called love because of u".N that is wad i'm telling u too.
I love you & thanx for being a part of my life.
My significant other.
Lynn's Penny For Tots
at 8:39 PM
Saturday, June 04, 2005
It was da most happening nite ever!!!We girls definitely had a blast.Now my legs are itching to go again.Woopps!!!He he he....
Azreen,Emy,Zaf,Diana,Rozy,Sab.U girls rock my world last nite.
So many things happen in such a short period of time.
N to U,thanx for being the sweetest thing n the most ever understanding soul in my life.
I heart you dear....
Maybe next time it'll be with u?
Lynn's Penny For Tots
at 3:36 PM
Friday, June 03, 2005
"Y bother about other people's feelings,when u know people won't care or bother about urs."
Come to think bout it,it does makes sense in a way or another.
It's something i'll bear in mind.
a nite out today that i'm gonna anticipate.it's boogie time!
Lynn's Penny For Tots
at 3:40 AM
..Lynn..
..Twenty-Two..
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..Treasures Friendship..
..Contented With Da Way Life Is Now..
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*~Me Bro*~
*~Dzul*~
*~Ishdah*~
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