My Personified World Of Friendship

Thursday, October 27, 2005

a friend once asked me,"lynn,would u choose someone u love or someone who loves u for who ur?"it was one question that set me into deep thinking.of course i couldn't give him the answer straightaway.i took some time to ponder over the advantages & disadvantages.

after much deep consideration,the answer i gave him was "i'd choose the one who loves me for who i am."

he was shocked.he thought i'm the kinda girl who'd stay with the one i love.

and i told him this."u~i'd definitely wanna stay with the one i love.but how guaranteed can i be that he loves me as much as i love him?how sure can i be it's not a one sided thing?how sure can i be that the sacrifices i will make for him is gonna be worthwhile? i chose the one who loves me for who i am is because i know i can learn to love him,and i'm willing to.n the fact is he already loves me for my own character n attitude.wad more can i ask for kan when i know myself better that i'm a hard to handle kinda girl."

u know,sometimes experiences make u a better & appreciative person in some ways.

why am i even talking bout this?haaa...i guess it's just a penny thot to share.

n NO..i'm not in love ok n i'm not attached.so stop believing all those speculations.

now back to reality check.i'm still not over my "depression" state at work.just when i tot i could cool down.another thing cropped up just now.instead of giving me 1 additional vendor,now they gave me 3!!!!blarrdy hell.i couldn't take the pressure,n i had to break down.in the words of my friends,i feel so "mangkuk" the whole day.luckily the starting of the day was not so bad.at least someone called to check up on me :D

i'm excited abt the weekends.can't wait,especially when pay is coming in abt 20 hours time!!!

i shall disclose more in the next entry.for now,i need some time alone.cheerios ppl!

Lynn's Penny For Tots at 3:14 AM

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

it's been a long time since i had a good,long cry.n today,i just had to pour all the tears out.

i'm really really stressed at work.exhausted physically n mentally.the stress level is getting higher by day and there's so much work yet so little time to complete everything.

n it doesn't help when ur own boss has too much expectations out of u.

pls understand i'm a human with only 1 pair of eyes,ears,hands.it's bad enuff ur letting me handle the company's top supplier ON MY OWN with 7 other suppliers on the list too.on one end,u expect me to focus on this top supplier.but one the other hand,when something crops up under my other remaining suppliers,u start to mark me.waddahell??!!

n when a problem arises for this top supplier,u screw me and say i'm not efficient enuff.N I HATE IT WHEN U SAY THAT!!!y??because i know i dun sit on my job and secondly the IBM personnels in USA is even telling me i'm doing a good job.y can't u at least credit me?

u say ur flexible.we as ur staffs can come to u when we have problems.i have damn approached u to say that i couldn't cope with 8 suppliers in total.but wad do u do?u simply ignore my say n to top it off,u added another one more supplier onto my list.WTF!!!!!!!ur adding more to my misery lady!u and the team lead are just the same.expect me to voice out but yet u used that against me.i dun c the point in speaking up anymore.

i dun know how long i can stand it here.it's really testing my patience.i dun expect much but just a sense of appreciation.is dat hard enuff??life is never fair for me.i always never get appreciated for what i do be it personally or not.argh fuck it.i'm sick of whining now.

sesungguhnya aku berpuasa...

Lynn's Penny For Tots at 11:53 PM

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

for the 1st time in my entire life,i witnessed a motorbike accident rite in front of my eyes.n da best thing was,i myself was on a bike.arrghh...trauma siak!I can still remember the abrasions on the girl's hands n legs.n the guy's hands were bleeding n all.errghhh...the helmets n the bike itself tercampak.oh gaawwdd!!i was really stumped la.when my fren stopped his bike to help,i just stood there.i didn't know wad to do.i was trying to calm myself down(mcmlah aku yg accident).after a while den i helped the girl.me n my fren tried clearing the road.imagine doing that at 1am.goshh...waited for the ambulance n traffic police to come,den we left the scene.

made our way down to meet another 2 frens on another bike n headed to newton for supper.we had crayfish,cockles,satay n murtabak.ah makan sampai tak tertelan.

crayfish=crabfish
muttongoat satay
hilang seliparku hilang(new version of geylang si paku geylang)

those were some of our inside jokes.ha ha ha....

on a more happier note,he's finally added me back to msn after donkey years,n we had our 1st official chat today.

Melts in your mouth,not in your hands.Dat's wad i definitely wanna get today.*winkz*

Lynn's Penny For Tots at 4:05 AM

Sunday, October 16, 2005

there's just too many things to blog down and it's all jumbled up in my mind.goshh...maybe i should just blog the general ones down n keep the personal ones to myself?hmm...when i tink bout it,there's more of the personal ones rather than the generals.hahahaa...ahh who cares!i'll just type wad comes into my still-unawake-brains.

Roda roda ramadhan yesterday was a success,overall.Though i felt a tinge of disappointment that it wasn't as organized as the one i participated 2 yrs back,it was still an event that made my wk :)going to all the homes of those less fortunate ppl,especially the elderly ones truly touched me in a way or another.it makes me realise how much things i've taken for granted.n thankfully i had a bunch of nice kids in my group.so it was no problem communicating.the last house we went to was our hosting family.they are the ones who invited us to break fast together.good food,n a nice family indeed.sadly,we had to leave early to report back to Eunos CC.the abang actually wanted to call up 4PM to allow us to stay on a bit more.semangat kanz.hahahaaa...

at Eunos,we had our debrief n photo taking session.after dat it was lepak time!though i was quite exhausted,i still made my way down to Simpang Bedok.n of coz it spells F-U-N there.so many of us...so kecoh!pics will be up as soon as i upload them okaez!

Time have passed by us so fast that it's already coming to the 2nd wk of ramadhan.It's quite sad la that i can't manage to break fast with my family at home.But luckily i have azreen with me in the office.at least got fren n we take turns to bring food :)

N also in this month of ramadhan,i decided to make use of the opportunity to kick away some of my habits.it's hard i swear,especially with the withdrawal symptoms n all!but i'm determined laa...n thank god i have supportive ppl around me :)

ehhh!!suddenly i went blank.dunno wad to type down anymore.n my ayie is calling me.kahkahahaahaaa...i'll end dis post first n blog again when i have the time.so long fellow bloggers!

Lynn's Penny For Tots at 1:25 PM

Monday, October 10, 2005

dgr2 "bakal mak mertua aku" masakkan utk berbuka tadi.eh wait.bakal mak mertua ke ayah mertua?kahakahakahaaa..

lepak la...

suker korang eh tadi ketawa2 kan aku pat TM.
biasa lah da prime suspects.u know who ur.
dahlah time buka kena kacau rabak nak mampos.

takper takper...nasib baik korang members.

but i'm glad we managed to meet up for a while.
n fir,i was soooo elated to c u just now :)

i'm soo shagged.2 straight nites of supper n SSP in the early morning contributed to the awful eyebags n darkrings.damn!!

but den again,someone said i looked gorgeous when i'm simple n especially with the new hairdo.

adik2 akak jgn jeless...hehhehee...;)

when i tot bout it again,i tink he muz be blind.padehal padehal.*LOL*

i'm gonna consider having my sahur now.even though it's still a bit tad too early.n off to bed with no interruptions.

have a great wk ahead ppl.

Lynn's Penny For Tots at 12:49 AM

Sunday, October 09, 2005

there's one thing dat i have realised in this world nowadays.girls can be damn materialistic huh?no..i'm not trying to discriminate my own kinda species.but uc it just saddens me how low a girl can stoop to such things.

the chat with my fren at jln kayu just now was quite an eye opener.we shared n exchanged views on this topic during supper.he's one very good example.

he's nice n all but frankly i can say he's not exactly attractive physically.more like an average guy.BUT he has girls wanting to be with him.Y??guess why?

JUST BECAUSE HE HAS A DAMN BIKE...n now a BIG ONE.

suddenly i feel so ashamed to acknowledge myself as a female.not because i belong to those type of girls...but because i c ard me,such ppl still live.

i dun deny i'm materialistic...yes i am.i admit.but i go all out to achieve them ON MY OWN.i dun wanna depend on someone else to provide me those.i have never anyway.

u know i could just imagine how hurt i would feel if a guy wants to befriend me just because i have a bike or a car.i mean ur bloody liking me for my property n not the way i am.

true it's damn easy to hitch someone because of wad u own.provided U OWN IT OUT OF UR OWN POCKET laa!!but den again,dun u feel cheated that someone likes u because of ur mode of transportation?

well at least we both felt the same just now.thank god we share the same view.but i really pity him la..in a way.lucky he knows how to tackle these kinda situations.:)

i dunno y i'm even blogging this down.

i guess it's just random tots when ur damn bored.

Lynn's Penny For Tots at 3:19 AM

Saturday, October 08, 2005

the long awaited news finally came to our ears.

an unexpected one..

things are gonna change tremendously.

now till years to come...

in my mind,heart n soul..

it will all be about me n my family.

my priority will be the family,

nothing else but the family.

Oh allah,pls give me n my family the willingness to persevere this journey that U have pathed for us.though it's gonna b a rough one,i beg for UR guidance.n me being the eldest child,i hope U will grant me that strength to be able to be the main support for each and everyone.

i am ready to face this.to begin this twining route of life.

pls pray for us.

i'll start it with a Bismillah.

Lynn's Penny For Tots at 4:40 PM

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

i had a blasting weekend!!!yeps definitely....

friday i managed to get time off from work.
set off to TM to meet diana first,followed by izzati.
made way to chalet at 10pm.
the gathering at chalet was fantastic!
nite walk was something i will never forget,especially the old japanese school.
prize exchange was wonderful.
lucky draw was the best!hahahaa...y?coz i was among the top 5 winners.*winks*
left the chalet at 4am.it was quite sad la dat i couldn't overnite there coz i had plans the next day.
but you know wad spices up that friday?to be bumping into 2 ex-es on the same day.how cool can dat be.hahahaa...

saturday,batam trip!!something i anticipated.
all we did were to shop n shop n shop.till we lost track of time.
didn't manage to catch the last ferry back home.
stranded in batam,
with no cash.
the best thing,i didn't bring my Visa.neither did my friends.
n our hps went flat on us.no kidding.

nak tahu kisah selanjutnya?approach me...n i'll tell ya.hahahaaa...

n suddenly i miss my long brownish-black hair.....*go figure*

a fellow SSP tutor called me just now to ask me how i was.hahaha..apparently he was worried when he heard i was stranded in batam.touching ek?kahkahkaha..but it was so funny when he said that he tot i was stranded due to the bali bombing.nak pecah perut ketawa.kwang kwang kwang...

an unplanned adventure that made my week.n i'm so exhilirated that i manage to get Peter Pan's latest album which is soundtrackz for this indonesia movie,Alexandria.cannot get it in singapore.kahahakhakhaa...n da songs are damn nice i tell u.some of them are re-makes of the original but with a different melody.i even got ressa's album.noice!!his voice can make me melt laaa...when i'm free i will change my background song to either one of the albums yeah. :)

it's the start of the fasting month today.to all my fwens out there,do make full use of this holy month.sadly i'm unable to perform my terawih prayers regularly this yr due to work commitments.anyhoots,let's hope this month of ramadhan will bring serenity to all of us.Selamat berpuasa ye sume... :)

Lynn's Penny For Tots at 1:10 AM